to blog or not to blog

It has been a while...no it's been forever since I last typed anything here on the ole bloggity blog blog blogger.

Time flies when you're having fun?

It certainly does! The past few months have been all-that-makes contentment. Sure there have been plenty of struggles, but the good has far outweighed the bad and I hope to be around more often. I've toyed with letting the blog die off, leaving it for others to read through, especially those nursing students out there who might need something to help with the insanity, but not keeping it up any further. In the past it's sometimes been a burden to keep up.

So much goes on in my head, hence "order & chaos", so I figure I'll share, if only sparingly.

It seems some come and read and have left comments along the way, so I figure why not use this to let it all out!

Where to start?

The j.o.b.

Three years ago when I first started this blog, if you'd told me I'd end up in med/surg nursing I'd have laughed straight into your face. Weeellll, currently you'd be able to throw back the laughs. It's been great. Sure, there are times it's frustrating and challenges beyond what I want, but it's fulfilling and it's great for experience. Will I stick with it long-term? Doubtful.

Alas, I don't really know what I really want to do in nursing right now, so I'll ride it out until June and then reevaluate. Well, knowing me that'll start mid-March.

So, I've been burning the midnight oil, caring for patients from a 21 yo with cancer to a 90-something with exacerbation-o-everything. I've had a couple of peds patients, several knees, hips, backs, pneumonias, copd'ers, type 2 diabetes, and some with more than one problem.

One thing I've gained is a certain essence, a sort of finesse. I no longer feel like a bumbling student. <<<---priceless.

We are family

The boys are men. LB is off to his freshman year of college and is having the time of his life. AW is a sophomore in high school. He's loving being the only SMan to rule the school, no longer living directly in his brother's shadow. Big B started a new job a few months ago and is loving it.

Latest big deal

After months (years) of dealing with problematic periods (endometriosis, fibroids, abnormal paps, etc) I took the plunge and had a total hysterectomy with both tubes and ovaries yanked as well. That was just this past Wednesday. It was done by daVinci robot. I highly recommend this surgical option. My recovery has been great. I was on Dilaudid for about two full days, and took it for the first three nights at home. Advil/Tylenol PMs have been doing the trick since. I'm having a bit of a problem with what I'm guessing is an adhesion from a previous surgery that was disrupted intraoperatively, and is now angry. It's a pain deep in my right side, that doesn't coincide with one of the incisions directly. It's about 2 inches off from one of the incisions, about where an instrument may have grazed.

It's been driving me crazy to keep up "taking it easy". You never realize how much you do until you can't do it!

Mi casa

I've pretty much resolved to the fact that we aren't getting out of our current home, all thanks to the totally upside down mortgage, without renting it and the difficulties that go along with that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity we've been working on some improvements. We finally put in new carpet up our stairs and on the whole second floor. It's plush and gorgeous. We bought a new king-sized bedroom set and squeezed into the 12x17 space. Again, may I proclaim the gorgeousness of our choice!? Its been fun redecorating. We also redecorated LB's room some, but have left it to primarily being his room. He'll just have to deal with my craft table and the treadmill I plan on purchasing for my butt improvement project. We're going to redecorate the computer room/man cave. And along with other downstairs tasks we plan to put in hardwoods or laminate on the entire first floor and ditch all the carpet. We've talked about adding on to our bedroom out the back, to extend and make a larger bathroom. Our upstairs bathrooms are, I kid you not, probably 7x7 feet total...including the space the single vanity, toilet and small tub take up. So, while I've made an oasis into our his/her boudoir, the bathroom just got a few minor cosmetic improvements, but needs some major ones....STAT.

I've also toyed with the idea of buying a beach house down in NC. On that note, I'm off to scope out what's available!

cherry on top

Ok, it's been a while. I've often wanted to get on here and type away, but have then decided to not do so and just keep going on with my business, non-blogging.

I'm back.

Here's the Reader's Digest version of my recent goings on:

I'm still at the skilled unit I started working on back in September. Two things keep me going in my nursey-nurse work: the diversity of jobs out there for my profession and the cherry on top? I have just over 3 months until I have the golden year of RN experience. How exciting is that!?

I was licensed last July, and soon after started working at the PO. That fell through and then I was hired at my current place of enjoyment...employment. It's experience, nonetheless. I went from night shift, part-time, to days and am now PRN, solely to clock time for the almighty experience. The people I work with are great. It's just that we have a corporate overhead (healthcare=business, duh) and the unit is a dysfunctional mess. We're currently on our 17th unit manager in 4 years. So far we've kept the current one 3 months! She must like a challenge.

The guys are all doing very well, for the most part. Big B continues to enjoy working at the same job he's been at since late '08. LB is preparing to graduate in June and beat feet to college. He's been accepted to two and has decided on RU. AW is trying to walk a better path than he's been traveling the past two years. He's starting to play soccer again and has also renewed his interest in skaeboarding.

I lost a dear furever friend, Snooki, last month, after only spending a year with her. We have since welcomed Star into our lives. She's an 8-month old tortoiseshell tabby.



AW named her Star, but her KLS-has-to-give-you-a-hundred-names include, Titty-Tat and Toots. I know, bad, right!? I really didn't mean to end up saying slang body part and bodily function words! She's a petite, too-skinny little thing right now and a big lover!!! I'm having tons of fun bonding with my new furever friend.

Speaking of, I need to head out to take Sandi to her geriatric well-check. Poor old girl hit 9 this past November and well, she's my little old lady!





She doesn't look a day over 30!!





















Movies I'd like to see.

gobbled up

Seems I'm eating the words I last typed. Ya know the ones? The ones where I spoke of liking night shift and my schedule. Hmmph. In a lot of ways my schedule is great, but then I'm spending so much time in a zombie-like trance, and that's just not compatible with family life. That's not to mention the fact that currently I work alongside one other nurse, whereas on days I'd have more nurses to bounce thoughts and experiences off of.

Soooo...I put in a letter of intent to switch to day shift. I'll hate the early mornings, but in the end of the next three or so months I think better experience will have been gained.

I've been so neglectful of this blog and those of others. A lot has been going on in my family life and it's left me not really feeling like sharing much with too many people. A few weeks ago AW went through an ordeal that has helped him to turn over a new leaf, for the most part. That and he and LB have been spending more time together, which has proven beneficial for positivity's sake since they'd grown so far apart in more recent years. AW has really needed that connection and it's so good to see them getting along.

I've had a lot to be thankful for in light of some frustrating, if not at times dire, circumstances. It's all about growth, connections and faith.

blither blather

Ok, so maybe "hate" is a strong word. I still feel pretty much the same way, though. Let's just start by saying that I'm an honest person, almost at times too honest. If one of my fellow co-workers asks me how I'm doing, how I'm liking it so far, what am I supposed to say? I'm doing great. My med passes are getting faster and faster with each pass, and I'm feeling more and more comfy caring for the residents and using my ounce of nursing judgment that I've gained over the past month or so.

That question is easy to answer. Well, so is the "How are you liking it?" if I just answer right off the cuff and honestly. I don't like it. It's not the patients, residents, whatever... It's the disorganized, utterly frustrating chaos (I live with a fair amount of chaos on a daily basis in my family life. That's not the problem.) Basic everyday chaos isn't anything I can't handle, but the kind that leaves a unit having had 16 different unit managers in 4 years, well that's a problem. There is no rhyme or reason to how forms are kept. Need a lab form? It's on the desk in a pile somewhere. Need an incident report? Try the cabinet.




The med room could be declared a local disaster area. The treatment carts? Ugh. There is no unit secretary, person in charge of supplies, wound nurse, etc.

Our job titles: "RN Charge Nurse" or "LPN Charge Nurse" and we are in charge of everything from admission to discharge. Everything. All the everything in between has little to no efficiency in the processes.

Ugh

I've even responded to an in-house posting for a Discharge Planning Assistant. (That may seem contradictory to what I just said, about nurses being in charge of discharging, but there's a lot more to it than the paperwork involved from the unit's standpoint.) I wouldn't mind staying with the facility, but this is how desperate I am to get away from the UFH (unit from hell) and for that matter, night shift isn't all that I thought it would be.

Now I'm going to go find some cheese...

now just green behind the gills

Today I was left wondering if I'd made the right choice in becoming a nurse. Or rather, it was more like....what the hell have I gotten myself into!?!

Last week there was a certain level of comfort, just sitting at a table, watching DVD movies on topics such as infection control and dementia. This week we're branching out a bit. Today we set out with "rounds sheets", which are a checklist of things that are supposed to be done in a shift. Many items are particular to each resident (O2 tubing changed and dated, A.M. care provided, etc.) and then there are such items as making sure the med cart is locked when you walk away from it.

As I'm walking around I come across a resident who complains of dizziness. She tells me that she gets dizzy in the mornings and it usually resolves as the day goes on. I go and tell her nurse who then asks me to get orthostatic vital signs on her. I didn't even think to do that. I suck. And I'm going to take care of your grandmother or grandfather!?! I'm so worried about the stupid checklist I can't even fathom to think critically.

A career switch to graphic arts doesn't so bad right now.

certs & joiners

I'm looking at different certifications and am now pretty overwhelmed. ACLS seems to be the best bet - PALS, too. What other certs are there out there that you've found worthwhile, especially as a new nurse?

Who's joined ANA or any other organizations? I'm just curious, as to the benefits.

resounding bleakness

Last year around this time I was obsessively looking at the area hospitals' job search pages. At the time you could be sure to find new grad postings.

Now?

Not so much.

In fact, the only thing comparable is the RNA (RN applicant) position open at a local university hospital. It's for a renal/respiratory unit. It's not really my cup of pee, I mean tea, but at this point, I'll take anything! That reminds me I need to check out another university's job postings. It's further then most of the others, but it's better than nothing.



A huge medical center, that is set to open in a couple of months, is hiring for various RN positions and I did come across one on their women's and children's pre/post-partum unit. I applied for it. The chances of me getting that job are so bleak it's funny, but what the hey. It's good practice filling out the applications.

It's so bad in this area that even the people I know who work in our local community hospital as externs or clinical techs (that are also graduating next month) - the one where we're doing our preceptorships - aren't even guaranteed positions. In fact this very hospital just laid off 35+ people in various departments, to include department heads, this past week. All I ask is that they leave the nurses alone! I mean there's enough competition out there with the hordes of all the other new grads that are also currently searching for jobs, without throwing in nurses who have experience.

I will work anywhere...hospital, doctors office, school...I am not picky!

one word

It's bright and early Wednesday morning, well maybe not so bright, but definitely early. I'm ready for the day ahead. I walk in and meet up with some of my classmates. Everyone's excited to see each other since it's been a couple of months since we last met up, at least for most. We're all a little hesitant considering we are starting our second clinical rotation, yet excited all the same. We're full of anticipation. As we're chit chatting I notice everyone's stethoscopes around their necks and realize with a sudden, all consuming feeling of terror that I left mine at home.

Wait a minute! What else am I forgetting?

I set off in search of my clinical instructor. As I'm walking around frantically searching I notice something odd about my surroundings. Isn't that Nurse C? The halls are the same. There's that same old, crappy nurse's station that could use some serious updating. In fact the whole place could use some serious renovation. It's the long-term care facility where we did our spring semester clinical rotation! Why are we here again?! Aren't we supposed to be at the hospital?!

Why am I wearing only one shoe?!

I see people gathering in the lobby area. For such a small area there seems to be a massive crowd, maybe thirty or forty people altogether.

Why are there so many people? Who are all these people?

There she is! There's my clinical instructor! By this time I realize I'm wearing no shoes whatsoever.

Wait! Where's my clipboard with my skills check-off list?!

I'm rushing to reach her, to tell her I've forgotten my stethoscope, and now my clipboard. It seems I'm moving in slow motion. I can't get to her fast enough! Finally I'm there by her side, waiting for her to stop talking with another student when all of a sudden I feel everyone's eyes on me. Everyone is looking toward the lower half of my body. What are they looking at?! I also feel a chill across my legs. I look down and in utter disbelief realize I am wearing no pants.

nightmare

nurse jackie

Any Edie Falco fans out there? I didn't know who she was until I'd seen a few episodes of The Sopranos that Big B used to watch. I thought she was great as Carmella.

As many can attest the profession of nursing is very poorly represented in the media. I've seen a few blogs on the subject and wrote a post of my own. Around the time of my post, and I don't remember where I saw it, I saw something about a new Showtime show that would be premiering Spring 2009.

It is time. (Said in the solemn, monotone voice of Rafiki from Lion King.)

Nurse Jackie premieres Monday, June 8, 2009, at 10:30 p.m. Hopefully it will do the profession proud! One of the main characters is a first year nursing student, Zoey.



Here's a video from the "From the Behind the Curtain: Real Nurses, Real Stories" page of the Nurse Jackie website:

we have sunshine!

I truly and without a doubt appreciate those of you who take the time to stop by and even more so the support you offer. From the bottom of my heart--thank you!

Today ended the third week of my LTC clinicals and I must admit, I am bushed! It was a great day. You could definitely tell there was a full moon recently considering how odd things might've seemed today, nothing major, just a couple of atypical occurences. My resident who has dementia, who is basically non-verbal, albeit she mumbles pretty well, and I can understand what she's trying to say sometimes, was a regular chatterbox, and it wasn't just me who could understand her! Classmates who came in to practice administering meds via PEG tube or other skills, also understood what she was trying to say. It was almost crystal clear verbosity!



I also got a hug! I had changed her brief, and was dressing her for the day and as I was tucking her shirt down behind her she pulled me close and gave me the best bear hug a slight person of less than 100 pounds could give!! It made my day.

Now it's on to a weekend filled with, drum roll....studying! Yippee! I'll probably be posting less over the next few weeks, but will check in every few days. We're in the downhill slide and gaining speed as the days race by!

come all ye faithful

Let's start off by celebrating my 200th post! I'd like to thank all you who stop by and read my blog. If you've been with me since the beginning and have read my whole blog, can you believe it's 200 posts long? I can't. It's great having the world-wide support from all of you!

It's also been a day, not only that, let's say a week, of firsts. Yesterday during clinicals I witnessed, sort of, my first "nurses eat their young" incident. I say sort of because I only caught the aftermath. It happened so quickly. One of the nurses stopped for one moment at the nurses station only to be chastised by another for "just standing there". The reason she was "just standing there" was because my instructor had taken her medicine cart and was passing meds with some of my fellow students. They had just taken the cart when the nurse stopped for a moment and was talking to some of the other students, and then bitchy-nurse, whomever she was, called her out on "just standing there". Just because the students took your cart doesn't mean you have to just stand there. There are other things to be done. True, very true, but come on. Let's retract the claws and not belittle someone for something you've probably been guilty of yourself! Puhleasse! Tears were shed momentarily from the nurse who was "just standing there", but she soon got over it and went on with her work.

So far I've done accuchecks, insulin injections, PEG tube care, a patient shower, charting, of course vital signs, pulse oximetry, bed-to-geri-chair transfers, unoccupied bed changes, assessments, adult brief changes, care planning, and today I passed my first meds! Because my resident has a PEG tube I have to crush the tablets, so that was fun. One of them didn't crush finely with the crusher so I had to break out the trusty hammer and bash away. Then it was onto the patient where I checked for placement and residual, and administered the meds by gravity.

I'm really enjoying clinicals. So far it's been a great experience. I actually find myself wanting to go back!! This actually astounds me since I was so nervous about not actually liking nursing, if that makes any sense.

Oh, today we had a couple of interesting events. The LTC I am doing my clinicals at has a locked down dementia/alzheimer's unit. One of the CNAs from over there managed to nearly become one of the resident's lunch since the resident tried to take a bite out of her! It was bad enough to where you could see a full circle of teeth impressions, and there was only the tiniest bit of skin breakage. They made a big deal out of the whole situation since they had us students as an audience.

I've been meaning to get over to meet one of my classmate's residents because this person has schizophrenia and bipolar. Evidently this person has been in a manic state. Just last night in the middle of the night she switched and is now delusional claiming that the FBI and others are out to get her. Although I don't plan to go into psych nursing, having a background in psychology, I am intrigued by mental disorders. Now I'm kicking myself for not taking the time to meet her. It would be fascinating to see the differences first-hand.

Well rather than spend anymore of my strained time blogging I should get back to the books!

Tomorrow's the next interview in my hopes of externing over the summer!

poo and puke

One week down and five to go! I'd planned on blogging yesterday about my firstday in clinicals in LTC, but by the time I got home I was too exhausted to do so. I'd been awake during the wee hours of the morning yesterday and then went back to bed, only to wake up to the alarm at 5:15. Needless to say I slept like a baby last night, and that would be through the night!

It almost seemed as if the experience at the nursing home was going to be dreadful. Once we were set free by our instructors we set out to go to our residents and start morning care. First great thing about clinicals this semester: come to find out most of us are paired up so that we have a classmate who is taking care of the resident in the same room as us. JL and I soon learned that we didn't have much to do concerning morning routines because both of our residents don't get going until after breakfast. Mine is NPO due to tube feeding by PEG tube and her's remains in bed until after breakfast. So for about an hour we were left to our devices, and were able to look at the charts, or find something else to do or someone to help. I made the fatal error of going up to the nurse whom I figured was in charge of my hall and started talking to her. Not a good idea when she is trying to pass meds. Lesson learned. Duh! Can we say eager beaver gets told off?


Second great thing about clinicals this semester: Nurse K turned out to be an awesome nurse and a great teacher! She apologized and explained why she was abrupt with me. I knew my mistake as soon as I'd made it so all was well with the world. Everyone is great to work with! It's almost too good to be true.

Our LTC facility is an older facility and they still do everything by hand, as in paperwork. Oh well, we'll chalk it up to learning things the old-fashioned way!

Third great thing about clinicals this semester: It's nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. I get myself all worked up, thinking that I'm being thrown to the wolves and am totally responsible for total patient care, when that's not the case. I'm there to learn, not take over. Sure I'm responsible for my tasks and skills I need to learn, but I am not SuperNurse....yet. (chuckles)

It's not going to be extermely easy either. Ever get so relaxed when you're in the shower that you feel like letting loose there? Well, if you're incontinent it happens.

As is said, "Shit happens". Does it ever!

Much of the time the past two days was spent collecting information from our residents' charts for our care plans. My classmates and I have a diverse array of residents, and will surely learn some skills through and through. From PEG tubes to schizophrenia, from Hoyer lifts to accuchecks, from dementia to passing meds, we're going to learn a thing or two!

If that's not all enough, I arrived home to find two huge piles of dog barf on my living room floor. I had to let the dogs out, so in our approach to the back door I see an area where Sandi, and it can only be Sandi, because Minnie is crated when we're gone(she's the "puppy"), had barfed up food no longer, but stomach fluids. Worse yet, I look over to the other side of the room to see a big pile of dog poo! (Nope, no savvy medical terminology reserved for the canine excrement of the house.)

Shit happens? Yes! It certainly does!

The door to our "coat closet", where the dog food is kept, doesn't shut like it should because I have an over-the-door hook that hangs on it, and well, with the cold weather, it's been overly inundated with jackets and coats. So when gluttonous Labrador Retriever sees the door is open, all she sees is something like humans see when they see "buffet"! She ate and ate until she couldn't eat, or hold it in, any longer....from either end.


Fortunately it was way more formed than the recurrent (human) diarrhea I cleaned up after today!

surgiversary

Take the patient who is post-operative gastric bypass, Amelia. Normally, at the hospital where she had surgery, patients stabilize in the surgery suite and then are transferred to their respective room. Because of patient overflow Amelia had to wait in the surgical suite for six hours prior to being transferred. When the technician came to transfer her, he brought what turned out to be a broken bed. He reassured her that the matter would be resolved upon admission to the unit where she would convalesce. Upon arrival the technician gave report to the admitting nurse, and included the fact about the bed being broken. The nurse reassured Amelia that she would have her in a working bed in no time.

The problem here was the head of the bed could not be raised. Amelia had just undergone abdominal surgery and lying in supine position is uncomfortable to a patient with surgical wounds in her abdomen. Initially, Amelia was appeased by the nurse’s reassurance, but as the hours passed by she, in her discomfort, kept asking anyone who came into her room when she would be given a new bed.

At the time of her surgery Amelia weighed in at 270 pounds. She was a very large woman, and that is what the nurses and technicians saw. No one wanted to be the one to lift her onto a new bed. She had even overheard one of the nurse aids tell another aid that she was not going to be the one to lift Amelia.

It was upon shift change, when her new nurse came in to introduce herself that Amelia was finally comforted. It was as if she had been placed on a whole different unit or in a new hospital. The outgoing nursing personnel had treated her with little concern for her comfort or dignity, while she rested uncomfortably in a broken bed. They did not respect her as a person. Their concern was for their own welfare. In particular, the aid that refused to move Amelia must place higher priority on values other than altruism and human dignity. Ironically, when she was finally given a new bed, after eleven hours of waiting, Amelia independently maneuvered herself out of the broken bed and into the bed she rested in comfortably for the remainder of her stay. She was not bedridden necessitating any assistance other than being observed for weakness or syncope.

The above excerpt is from a paper I wrote last semester from the assignment defining values and/or ethical principles paramount to the profession of nursing. Altruism, human dignity and respect are some of the values and/or ethical principles I find integral to nursing as a profession. Over the years I've often found that a person who is really good at their job started out subordinate to what they've become. Take for instance the doctor who was once a nurse, or in the military, the officer who was once enlisted, or even the CEO who once worked in the mailroom. I analogize this to what I can imagine it sometimes takes to be a good nurse is to remember how it feels to be the patient. Sometimes it's just working with a sympathetic/empathetic frame of mind.

You might have figured out by now that I fictionalized my paper, that Amelia is in fact, me. Yes, three years ago I had gastric bypass surgery. Other than switching the name the rest of what you've read above is very much non-fiction, very true to life. You would be horrified to learn where I had my surgery after reading about my surgery considering I had it done at a major university in the Washington, DC area.

I don't share that I had surgery with many people anymore, although I guess now it's out there in the wide open world of the 'net! I wasn't one of the ones who dropped to goal or even near it within six months, or a year. In fact I still have a good 40 lbs. to go to get to my "ideal" weight. I did lose 80 lbs. that first year and a few since. I've battled internally and emotionally with this and have finally come around to the fact that the surgery did give me back a sense of confidence that had been washed away. I take full responsibility for not losing more. I haven't exercised religiously, but did maintain a moderate level of activity. That's what needs to happen, a regular exercise routine, especially considering the loss of tone/excess skin issues. I'm in touch with that fact, but also the reality that if I'm going to do it it is going to have to >fit in< somewhere-no more excuses!

All that being said the main point in me posting this today was my feelings on me becoming a good nurse. The following is another excerpt from the paper on "Amelia."

People are multi-faceted. People are also quick to judge. In nursing it is imperative to use critical thinking, and to not pass judgment on other people. Every person deserves to be treated equally and with dignity. Each person should be regarded holistically, whether they are clients, or other health care personnel. One should always remember that other person is someone’s father, mother, brother, sister, etc., and how one would want their own family members treated.

March 25th I begin my clinical rotation and know there will be good times as well as some rough times. There may even be times when I want to give up. There will be others reassuring me this is what I'm meant to do. Whenever I become frustrated I just hope to remember Amelia.

where do you work?

I was reading this article on non-traditional nursing, since this aspect of nursing intrigues me. If I do start out my career in a hospital I do not foresee it lasting forever there.

I'd like to hear from everyone, about where you work, or where you have worked. Any nurses out there in blogworld who do non-traditional nursing?

reflections of...

For those who have entered the nursing world, at some point in time it has been brought to your attention, if you hadn't realized it already, the fact that nursing is not represented well on television, or in movies for that matter. If you're not a RN, LPN, or student nurse you may or may not have noticed. I came across a blog earlier that discussed this issue, and the source was from The Center for Nursing Advocacy website.

It really is a sad state of affairs. But I got to thinking about what shows there have been, and there haven't been many. Recently my class was instructed to do an assignment. We were given the choice to read a book or watch a movie, and then relate it in an essay to the three attributes we feel are necessary to uphold as a nurse. One of the movie choices was MASH. I had already started reading Life Support, by Suzanne Gordon, but didn't think I would be able to finish it in time for the assignment deadline. So I rented MASH and then proceeded to watch it. I had only ever watched the TV episodes, and thought the movie would be just as good. My opinion? WRONG! The theme song was irritating in it's entirety, as it plays on and on and on for the opening sequence. "Suicide is Painless"? Whatever.

I digress. Normally I am not one to give up on a movie, but found it necessary for my existence with my only viable neuron of sanity left. I did get about half way through. The representation of nurses? Not so good! As usual they were the typical handmaiden for the doctors, or were just an object of lust for the men in general.

Even in the latest episode, the season opener of Grey's Anatomy, the one nurse shown, Rose, was seen portraying a bitter woman cast aside by McDreamy-one of the surgeons on the show.

My thoughts led me to reflect-haha-on China Beach.
Dana Delaney (you might know her from Desperate Housewives), Marg Helgenberger (of CSI fame), and a few other stars graced the TV show during its run from 1988-1991. Delaney and Helgenberger, lead actresses, played nurses, in the Vietnam War setting. One of these days I might have to partake in a DVD marathon! I only saw a few episodes here and there, and can't quite speak on the quality level of the portrayal of the nursing profession.


Delaney can also be seen in Vietnam Nurses, a documentary on the entitled subject matter.

My reflections also led me to the Internet and some of the other choices available representing nurses. Nurse Betty with Renee Zellweger was front runner. Other selections were of the R- or X- rated variety.

Sad.

On a happy note there is plenty of reading material available. My latest find is Nurses: The Human Touch, by Michael Brown. As a nursing student I am finding that reading these non-fiction books about nursing help to put some of the concepts were learning into perspective.

That's all we ever want is a good perspective, right?

feeling testy

Five weeks into nursing school and we've had our first tests. Yes, I said, well, typed test"s". We had one in our NUR100, Intro class, and one in our NUR105, Skills lecture class. It was awesome though in the intro class, because after we completed our tests individually she had us split up into groups and retake the test as a group! Depending on how well our group did we will receive extra credit! I think I did ok, hoping for a B. As for the skills test. It went ok-they were both way more tolerable than I thought they were going to be-and I'm hoping for a B on it as well. Now we just have to wait for the grades.

Tomorrow is the skills test, for health assessment. I'm not too worried about it since we get to use note cards.

I've really been doubting my choice to become a nurse lately. I don't know if it's me doubting my abilities or if it's for real just not the right choice for me. I'm very intimidated. I am my own worst enemy and have always doubted my abilities. This is something I've been wanting for about ten years now.

If you think about it, it is pretty ironic. Back when I separated from the Air Force, after three years as a medic I swore I would never step foot into a hospital, other than as a patient, ever again. But as time went on it became apparent to me that the medical field is where I'm supposed to be.

How do you know if something is your calling? Is it when you have a lingering desire, or ambition to do something?

dilemma

I'm pasting an email I sent recently concerning my dilemma:

I thought I'd email you concerning something that is bothering me. As you know I'm enrolled with LFCC in the nursing program. Last week we were informed that LFCC's nursing program is not accredited. The dean reassured us that there is only one VA school, that being VCU, that it will be a problem when trying to go for our RN-BSN. No problems there, never intended on attending VCU. My problem is when looking at the local hospital job site it says "graduate of an accredited school of nursing". Do they hire LFCC graduate nurses, or not?

Expounding upon this I have gone to look at GM University's, Accelerated, Second Degree BSN Pathway, on their website, and come to find out there are only a couple of prerequisite courses I need to be admitted into their program. The information states those courses are to be completed by the end of the spring semester for which you are applying for fall admission that same year. I am finishing up my current baccalaureate degree this semester, and will graduate in December. So I could apply for that pathway, finish up the prereqs in the spring, transfer to their program and still graduate summer 2010 (the currently planned graduation date.) My dilemma? Why trudge through a non-accredited program when I could end up with a BSN in the same time period?

Financially speaking LFCC is the better choice; however, if I do go on to get my RN-BSN I would still end up at a school with higher tuition, and I would end up taking classes beyond 2010. All along I've said to myself I was fine with the ADN, but I think my subconscious ambition wants more. Another con to transferring would be driving distance. What campus do they teach nursing courses at anyway?

Bottom line should I really worry about this whole accreditation thing? What is your honest opinion regarding nursing education/professionalization?

There you have it. I'm also in a state of uncertainty as to whether or not I actually want to be a nurse. Is it just normal nervousness? Or am I really questioning what I want to be when I grow up? For years now I've wanted to be a nurse. I'm very intimidated about the job itself. I keep going back to the diversity nursing offers.

Sometimes it would be nice to be three years old again and be told what to do!