meanest mom on the planet

This was an email I sent out:

So I thought I had won the title of "meanest mom on the planet" today.

Let's rewind to this morning. While working with one of my students in the library I noticed my son walk in with a group of other students. I thought it a little odd since I knew he was in the Eagle Room, the small auditorium in our school....we have one large, one small. Anyway. He was in the E.R. with his keyboarding class because all the business wing classes are holding class in there, and having guest speakers, because of the SOL testing currently going on in their normal classrooms (many are computer labs).

As my student and I depart from the library, BZ is also. I whack him with the small stack of papers I'm carrying, and he informs me he has after-school detention. WHAT!!!??? I ask why, and in answer he hands me the referral form, and associated paperwork. In the notes section reads: "Sleeping through presentation-business. Students were asked to sit up and pay attention. Other students attempted to wake him...sound asleep with mouth open". Hmphh!

Yes, you may laugh, I did. But then I was perplexed since ASD is more punishing to parents who have to pick their hoodlums up from it....and parents who are gainfully employed at that institution do not necessarily want to return on the same day, even for their hoodlum! I asked one of our office clerks, sweet chick that she is if she wanted a 14 year old, she nodded to me in a knowing fashion, since she'd already found out about my hoodlum's indiscretion. But she was willing to take him, not many people are, for some reason. So I head back to my room, my student in tow...and then on our way to our next destination I decide to visit our friendly assistant principal who is in charge of my son. They're grouped alphabetically. I walk into his office with a "Good morning" and promptly ask if it could be changed to ISS, in school suspension. I explained I dont like wasting money on gold, I mean gas, unnecessarily. He was more than willing! So voila! Instead of two days of ASD, next Monday and Friday, that he was previously given the option of, he gets ISS, tomorrow and Monday.

(Later, during lunch) Evidently, after I informed my hoodlum of his demise he went to his table and expressed his joy and love for me. He actually confessed this tonight! It went something to the effect of me being stabbed and wriggling, and being a bitch, and...well you get the picture! Ahh, feel the love!

But then I just heard of a woman who is possibly my new idol! Click on the link and read, and laugh!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_on_fe_st/odd_car_ad_5

To those of you who mother teenagers, may you know the pleasure I do! For those with small children, hug them closely and pray for their future. For those who've passed these stages with flying colors, may we all be so lucky! To my mom, thanks for jinxing me all those times when I messed up, because yes, now I pay!