Saturday, November 14, 2009

the reason I'm going to end up an AA member by the time my youngest graduates HS

So you understand fully my impending need for AA (I am just kidding about a future need for AA--for the most part). The first paragraph explains a status message post I'd made on Facebook about some things parents should never have to go through.

The status message: Things no parent should have to go thru: hearing "I hate you", but a 13 yr old will say it as easily as 7 year old; seeing disappointment on your child's face when they strike out, miss a goal, or are told by a "friend" that they aren't invited to a party (one they had been invited to); really bad hair cuts that you spent $ on; stitches to that baby's face; or 2 a.m. phone calls from the local sheriff's department...

LB received stitches twice when he was little, on his face both times. AW has recently told me he hates me, but he was saying it out of anger. LB plays baseball and even the best Bball players strike out. AW played soccer and missed a goal or two--it happens. LB was the one disinvited to a friends party by a "friend". He was also the one who got the bad 'do. Told the lady to take a 1/4" off, she took it down to a 1/4"!! He doesn't do buzz cuts well!

I have to laugh, which may seem demented. I remember me as a teenager though, and let's just say "payback's a bitch" :

This is THE STORY from last weekend, 11/7/09:
AW is at home grounded, so no sleepovers for him. Meanwhile LB is out with LW, supposed to be spending the night at A and A S's house. We get a phone call, about 2 a.m. asking if we own a car, plates blah, blah. I'm overhearing Big B confirm that "...yes, that is our car...", and of course you know the first thing that comes to my mind--LB had been in an accident. Nope, it was just illegally parked on *** Rd. The S's live in "one town", back behind the library--nowhere near *** Rd!!!! I get on AT&T Family Map, which is kind of like GPS and I have it locate LB. It says he's at the S's house. Mhmm.

So Big B and I make our way to *** Rd, meanwhile I'm calling MW, LW's mom, to let her know the situation. We get to *** Rd and low and behold there near a house, tucked in amongst trees, is LB's car. We drive up a lil further and notice the multiple cars at the house. We both get out and go up to the house. Mind you we both just rolled out of bed. I am wearing no makeup, hair's a mess, wearing turquoise lounge pants with huge siamese cats on them, with a red sweatshirt, my coat and my torn up slippers. Some kid opens the door and Big B asks for LB. He also tells the kids that the cops are out there (they weren't, at least at this point ), and it was sudden mayhem--kids darting out for their cars like bats out of hell. So LB comes up, then LW, and of course they've been drinking (which the fact that kids left-possibly drunk disturbs me).

They're both basically shitting their pants, with their tails between their legs. I agree to take LW home. On the way both boys beg to go to jail, cuz they didn't want to face the parental music. Big B took LB's car, after we'd left. Evidently the kid who's house it was did get busted cuz the deputy did show up and Big B told him about the party. I guess they'd originally been by because of noise complaints and that's how they found the car. We get to the LW's house and all 3 of us get out and go in.

Their tails are stuck so far up between their legs they'd probably have wagged out their mouths. LB apologizes to LW's parents, and LW to me. They're both, at this point, shouldering the blame. They're both old enough, LW being nearly 18 and LB nearly 17, to make wise, or dumb, decisions all on their own.

LB's phone was at the S's. He admitted it was partly due to the tracking thing. It's still in LW's car. He'll be riding the bus this week, at least, and has no phone. Hope he doesn't get it taken away after LW gives it to him at school and he attempts to check the zillion msgs that are bound to be on it! Boys are so dumb. I say that, but I did some pretty dumb stuff at his age too, though. AA here I come!

This is THE STORY about my middle schooler:
On 11/11/09 I had Mrs. D, Mr. C (AW's math seminar teacher), Mrs. M, Mrs. R's long-term sub AND Mrs. H (AW's art teacher) in AW's PT conference. Yes, even the art teacher had to get involved. He's still, or was still, missing assignments. He was supposed to have Saturday school and this time we were going to make him go, but now it's cancelled because of the power outage. [Due to weather we had from Ida, the school had a "partial power outage".] He's a great kid and they don't have a problem with utter disrespect. It's all hyperactive behavior or, a new one...he zones out. Yeah, this is a first. At least two of the teachers said he looks like he's paying attention in class, they call on him to answer a quesiton and he's all "Huh? What?" That blew me away, because I'm sitting there thinking geez, is he smoking pot or something??

Basically what it comes down to(not everything is included here, no one has that much time!), and I agree, he's exhibiting ADHD type behaviors.

He asks to go to the bathroom all the time. If they let him go he's observed wondering back from other areas...he's wondering the halls aimlessly. He even admitted, in front of the sub, (she overheard him tell a friend) that he does it to get out of class. His story--it doesn't happen as much as they say.

In the end, because Mrs. H has gone through this exact same thing with her son, medication was being suggested. I've always been against it, but am getting to the point where it may just be necessary.

I leave the conference, head out to the car, get in and commence bawling. I call Big B who is on his way to FL that. Not much he can do while out of town, but I just had to tell him what happened.

I get home and AW comes out to the car, where we sit and heatedly discuss the whole thing.

Long story short, he's on contract. I've notified all teachers involved that they should expect to see a change and if by next Thursday they didn't, further action will be taken.

He will lose his cell phonePERIOD among other things. He will go see our family docPERIOD (I won't get the school invloved because that's not the best way to handle it. It is something we'll handle privately as far as the school system's concerned, because it can get messy otherwise.)

He's got tons of other restrictions as well. If I get reports of improvement and progress he'll get privileges back as time goes on. I've even threatened/promised changing his wardrobe to unifom style, but as I told him when he wigged out on that shouldn't get to that point. Yesterday, after emailing all the teachers, I heard back from one, Mrs. M, the one that's been the most involved. She did give me a good report.

I know I'm forgetting some details, as I've pretty much lost my mind over this,but you get the gist.

AW got a B on his last Algebra test and had a B homework average....but an F in classwork. WTF??? How hard is it to do the work in class to make up a decent grade. Ok, stopping now before I get pissed again.

(The above stories have been copied, pasted and edited from messages I sent to a friend on Facebook.)

All this and nursing school too!


Crazed Mom said...

Oh gosh KLS we do have tons in common. My boys now 18 and 21 never took the car but dang, your middle schooler sounds like my youngest's entire stay in hs and ms. He's not adhd though he likes to tell people he is...

That all totally sucks as does single parenting and nursing school on top on it all. HUGS**

running wildly said...

Here's to a good, stiff martini!
You'll be joining AA just because you'll be drinking to cope with nursing school.....let alone the children. Hee hee.

Nursapalooza said...

First: The fan? has hit it.
Second: stupid adolescence.
Third: Passing a double margarita, STAT.