thoughts o' pondering

I'm thinking....have been thinking...about returning to school for my master's. That being said I'm not quite sure I want to get my MSN or go another route, but still in health care. I've thought about public health with a focus in epidemiology, healthcare administration, and then as far as MSN: admin, public health, and I've even considered education. Its all very confusing, as I'm not solid on one particular track thus far. That, and, different schools offer different programs. I'm pretty sure I don't want to choose a program that is all face-to-face classes, as I'd like to have the option of taking some courses online. Ugh. Decisions... Back to reality... Tonight I return to work after being out for my surgery for nearly a month. I'm excited to go and get back into the swing of things. I've missed caring for patients and some of the people I work with, as I am a social creature. Staying at home is no longer something I can do fulltime! I've healed up quite nicely. My only problem has been the lingering pain in my right side, which has gotten better, but at times - especially after twisting just so - its more uncomfortable. I do have a peek-a-boo suture. It's most likely an internal suture that decided to surface from one of my five abdominal incisions. Every so often I give it a gentle tug to see if it has loosened enough from it's internal resting spot and so far, nope. I look like I have a shopping tag sticking out of me. You know how you get a stuffed animal and when you clip the tag it remains sticking out until you pioke it back in? Yep, mine doesn't budge either way! I go back at the end of the month fo rmy next post opfollow-up and will point it out to my surgeon. That's if it's still there by then.

to blog or not to blog

It has been a while...no it's been forever since I last typed anything here on the ole bloggity blog blog blogger.

Time flies when you're having fun?

It certainly does! The past few months have been all-that-makes contentment. Sure there have been plenty of struggles, but the good has far outweighed the bad and I hope to be around more often. I've toyed with letting the blog die off, leaving it for others to read through, especially those nursing students out there who might need something to help with the insanity, but not keeping it up any further. In the past it's sometimes been a burden to keep up.

So much goes on in my head, hence "order & chaos", so I figure I'll share, if only sparingly.

It seems some come and read and have left comments along the way, so I figure why not use this to let it all out!

Where to start?

The j.o.b.

Three years ago when I first started this blog, if you'd told me I'd end up in med/surg nursing I'd have laughed straight into your face. Weeellll, currently you'd be able to throw back the laughs. It's been great. Sure, there are times it's frustrating and challenges beyond what I want, but it's fulfilling and it's great for experience. Will I stick with it long-term? Doubtful.

Alas, I don't really know what I really want to do in nursing right now, so I'll ride it out until June and then reevaluate. Well, knowing me that'll start mid-March.

So, I've been burning the midnight oil, caring for patients from a 21 yo with cancer to a 90-something with exacerbation-o-everything. I've had a couple of peds patients, several knees, hips, backs, pneumonias, copd'ers, type 2 diabetes, and some with more than one problem.

One thing I've gained is a certain essence, a sort of finesse. I no longer feel like a bumbling student. <<<---priceless.

We are family

The boys are men. LB is off to his freshman year of college and is having the time of his life. AW is a sophomore in high school. He's loving being the only SMan to rule the school, no longer living directly in his brother's shadow. Big B started a new job a few months ago and is loving it.

Latest big deal

After months (years) of dealing with problematic periods (endometriosis, fibroids, abnormal paps, etc) I took the plunge and had a total hysterectomy with both tubes and ovaries yanked as well. That was just this past Wednesday. It was done by daVinci robot. I highly recommend this surgical option. My recovery has been great. I was on Dilaudid for about two full days, and took it for the first three nights at home. Advil/Tylenol PMs have been doing the trick since. I'm having a bit of a problem with what I'm guessing is an adhesion from a previous surgery that was disrupted intraoperatively, and is now angry. It's a pain deep in my right side, that doesn't coincide with one of the incisions directly. It's about 2 inches off from one of the incisions, about where an instrument may have grazed.

It's been driving me crazy to keep up "taking it easy". You never realize how much you do until you can't do it!

Mi casa

I've pretty much resolved to the fact that we aren't getting out of our current home, all thanks to the totally upside down mortgage, without renting it and the difficulties that go along with that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity we've been working on some improvements. We finally put in new carpet up our stairs and on the whole second floor. It's plush and gorgeous. We bought a new king-sized bedroom set and squeezed into the 12x17 space. Again, may I proclaim the gorgeousness of our choice!? Its been fun redecorating. We also redecorated LB's room some, but have left it to primarily being his room. He'll just have to deal with my craft table and the treadmill I plan on purchasing for my butt improvement project. We're going to redecorate the computer room/man cave. And along with other downstairs tasks we plan to put in hardwoods or laminate on the entire first floor and ditch all the carpet. We've talked about adding on to our bedroom out the back, to extend and make a larger bathroom. Our upstairs bathrooms are, I kid you not, probably 7x7 feet total...including the space the single vanity, toilet and small tub take up. So, while I've made an oasis into our his/her boudoir, the bathroom just got a few minor cosmetic improvements, but needs some major ones....STAT.

I've also toyed with the idea of buying a beach house down in NC. On that note, I'm off to scope out what's available!

cherry on top

Ok, it's been a while. I've often wanted to get on here and type away, but have then decided to not do so and just keep going on with my business, non-blogging.

I'm back.

Here's the Reader's Digest version of my recent goings on:

I'm still at the skilled unit I started working on back in September. Two things keep me going in my nursey-nurse work: the diversity of jobs out there for my profession and the cherry on top? I have just over 3 months until I have the golden year of RN experience. How exciting is that!?

I was licensed last July, and soon after started working at the PO. That fell through and then I was hired at my current place of enjoyment...employment. It's experience, nonetheless. I went from night shift, part-time, to days and am now PRN, solely to clock time for the almighty experience. The people I work with are great. It's just that we have a corporate overhead (healthcare=business, duh) and the unit is a dysfunctional mess. We're currently on our 17th unit manager in 4 years. So far we've kept the current one 3 months! She must like a challenge.

The guys are all doing very well, for the most part. Big B continues to enjoy working at the same job he's been at since late '08. LB is preparing to graduate in June and beat feet to college. He's been accepted to two and has decided on RU. AW is trying to walk a better path than he's been traveling the past two years. He's starting to play soccer again and has also renewed his interest in skaeboarding.

I lost a dear furever friend, Snooki, last month, after only spending a year with her. We have since welcomed Star into our lives. She's an 8-month old tortoiseshell tabby.



AW named her Star, but her KLS-has-to-give-you-a-hundred-names include, Titty-Tat and Toots. I know, bad, right!? I really didn't mean to end up saying slang body part and bodily function words! She's a petite, too-skinny little thing right now and a big lover!!! I'm having tons of fun bonding with my new furever friend.

Speaking of, I need to head out to take Sandi to her geriatric well-check. Poor old girl hit 9 this past November and well, she's my little old lady!





She doesn't look a day over 30!!





















Movies I'd like to see.

are you ready!?

I am so ready, in so many ways. Then there's one reason that leaves me wanting time to slow way down. I'm ready for this upcoming year. It's a year without me attending classes and studying for endless hours. Ironically though, I'll have a full year without college attendance, at least on my own behalf. LB will take up where I've left off. He'll be attending college, somewhere. harumph.

So, as I start paying off student loans, my eldest son will become an adult, become of age to vote and will be eligible for selective service. All that wrenches at my heart, and it leaves me sad, but it's exciting as well.

He'll be 18 in March. Where has the time gone?

It's going to be a good year; I'm sure of it.

I turn 40 in January.

AW turns 15 and while we're at it, Big B will celebrate his 42nd.

I'm going to Vegas for my 40th birthday. Big B has arranged a trip for us to go out and celebrate, sans the younger guys. I can't wait. It should be a blast.

What else can we look forward to in 2011?

Right now I feel a sense of contentment. It's great to have a family that's healthy and to be employed. Granted, there are things in both aspects of my life that leave lots of room for improvement. Although AW is generally healthy, he's recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea. He was supposed to have a tonsillectomy with uvulopalatectomy January 5th, but just yesterday I found out Tricare (our insurance through the US military) denied it based on "not a benefit". Yeah, that came as a harsh blow, but rest assured I won't lay back and take the denial without a fight.

It is very frustrating because he's made some really bad decisions in the past couple of years and I was hopeful the surgery would 1.) work, therefore 2.) be the answer to some of his problems. He's even landed himself in legal trouble, so we're also dealing with going to court in the near future. In my mind it would help us to work on distinguishing between behavioral issues stemming from organic causes and well, those that are just rooted by teenageritis. Chaos...

As of today I am now on dayshift. I'm still plugging away on the rehab unit. Nightshift was aging me. Who needs that with the regular toils and troubles of life that add gray hairs and wrinkles, not that I've grown any of the former, just plenty of the latter?

Today was a great day, albeit horrid at times, what with the dysfunctionality I've spoken of previously. We have a new unit manager and she's working toward improving upon a great deal, to include adding a 4th pod (that would mean our 60 bed unit would be divided by 4 nurses versus the 3 [when we're lucky]). Today made me wonder if I'm just more comfortable overall in my new-nurse skin, or have I just gotten used to the chaos? Hmmm....

The above photo was taken on my 20th birthday. Friends threw a surprise intimate gathering for me, complete with Garfield cake.

now just green behind the gills

Today I was left wondering if I'd made the right choice in becoming a nurse. Or rather, it was more like....what the hell have I gotten myself into!?!

Last week there was a certain level of comfort, just sitting at a table, watching DVD movies on topics such as infection control and dementia. This week we're branching out a bit. Today we set out with "rounds sheets", which are a checklist of things that are supposed to be done in a shift. Many items are particular to each resident (O2 tubing changed and dated, A.M. care provided, etc.) and then there are such items as making sure the med cart is locked when you walk away from it.

As I'm walking around I come across a resident who complains of dizziness. She tells me that she gets dizzy in the mornings and it usually resolves as the day goes on. I go and tell her nurse who then asks me to get orthostatic vital signs on her. I didn't even think to do that. I suck. And I'm going to take care of your grandmother or grandfather!?! I'm so worried about the stupid checklist I can't even fathom to think critically.

A career switch to graphic arts doesn't so bad right now.

sticks and stuck up

Working at the peds office (PO) has had its ups and downs. I told a couple of my co-workers Wednesday that it was indeed my favorite day of the three I work during the week. This is simply because it's just MB and I, and no other "nurse". The term is used loosely because the other person I work in patient care with is not a nurse. In the state of VA it is not required to be licensed or certified to work in a doctor's office. She is, however, certified as a phlebotomist. All that being said, she is good at her job and great with the patients. It's the way she treats those of us she works with and how she expects to be treated that I have a problem with.

We have two computer terminals in our nurses' station. She has claimed one of them, even going so far as labeling it with her name. We have three Thermoscan Ear Thermometers and three handheld pulse/pulse oximeters. Yep, one of each are labeled as well, yet they are not her personal equipment. She's also one of those who will walk into the room and in the most snarky fashion ask why something is the way it is, or isn't.

I realize there's always going to be somebody that we prefer to not have to work with. It's quite different when that somebody is one of only about ten co-workers.

Like I said, Wednesdays are my favorite days. Well, they have been. Evidently she'll be working them after school starts the 23rd. We provider match (which means when three of us are working we each work with a specific provider) and her provider will be dropping her hours down so she (the provider) can be around for her children. So rather than working to 5 p.m. 4 days a week, NFC (not favorite co-worker) will be working five and getting off earlier. Lovely.

I have my intrapersonal battles with all of this. I like my job because, well it is work, and the schedule is great. I don't have to work nights, weekends, major holidays, and so forth. But...is this what I became a nurse to do? It'll have to do for right now, because there just isn't much out there for inexperienced nurses. I figure I'll at least stick with it for the next few months, because yes, it looks like they're keeping me around for as long as I wish to stay.

Days like yesterday leave me frustrated. It was a day spent with NFC, so it was already spent overting outright frustration. Then it happened. I attempted to do a blood draw on a patient, once in each AC and the veins rolled. I'm not extremely well-practiced at this task, so I decided to stop there and go get NFC, the trusty phlebotomist. I had trouble using the safety device on the butterfly needle and going back to the days when there was no such thing, from which I was originally trained, I just decided to discard the needle in the sharps. It bounced backward and caught my thumb. Lovely.

I will say NFC was awesome about the whole event and even talked me out of my devastation over doing something so dumb. Of course, we had to go through the formalities when something like this happens, to include her drawing my blood to send off for HIV testing. Great day...not.

There seems to be a trend when certain things happen. One week was strep week. Everyone that came in seemed to be having s/s of strep throat and were of course swabbed for the rapid strep screen. This past week was let's-stick-something-up-our-nose week. One kid had stuck part of a diaper wipe up his and another had supposedly stuck a foam circle up his. We succesfully removed the former's obstruction, but had to send the latter to ENT. They found nothing.

It's all fun and games in the PO!

the little buggers

In a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of way, it seems I thought myself into an illness. Maybe I just worked my way into it. It only makes sense that if you work around germs you're going to fall to those germs eventually. I work around a bunch of little buggers, well some of them are not so little. Working in a peds office is a surefire way to come down with some sort of virus or other illness. Wouldn't ya know it, last night I started in with a headache and by this morning was feeling worse. Quite frankly, I feel icky.

It's not bad enough to be totally debilitating, but bad enough to keep from me going into DC with Big B for a Phillies/Nats game. It's pretty disappointing, but I knew I didn't want to end up feeling worse, cutting our trip short. Here I lie in bed, while he's off wandering around enjoying himself and will soon be heading to the baseball game. It figures I'm finally able to live freely, since there are no more studies to keep me down and I'm left stuck at home feeling like crud! Boohoo!

The other guys are, thankfully, amusing themselves. LB went off to a concert and AW is in his room chatting it up while playing XBOX Live.

As far as the job goes itself, it's going well...

I love the people I work with. The work has been frustrating at times. I love working with the kids, far more than I ever thought I would. It's the tasks we have to manage that frustrate me, and my fellow new co-workers. We do labs in house, at least as far as drawing blood for things that need to be sent out, simple Hgb tests, rapid strep screens, etc. It's the outgoing bloodwork that has left me wanting to rip my hair out. CBC's go in the lavendar top tube. Got it. Thyroid tests go in the tiger top tubes. OK. The more simple, more common tests are manageable. It's the crazy odd, rarely done tests that we have to draw for that leave me mad. I didn't go to medical lab tech school. It's all very challenging, but once all the other tasks come easier, and they already are, I'll be able to learn the lab tests more readily.

The frustration was compounded when MB, my former classmate who called me for this job, and I had to call in other reinforcements. Fortunately for us we just graduated with a bunch of people who have yet to find permanent jobs, so any opportunity to gain experience and get paid is worthwhile. I called on CM first, but as soon as she and I figured out we'd be on our own on different days, we decided we weren't comfortable flying solo. We called in CH.

The reason for all of this? That goes back to what I mentioned in my previous post. I was brought on to help out because the two regular employees had been granted vacation and time off for surgery and convalescence at the same time. I had one good day of training and one, um...pretty good day. We've all (not including the regular employees) been thrown in with minimal training. MB has had the most, with me coming in second, CM and CH have had little, except for what they were thrown into. CM has since been hired on at a local rehab and nursing center full-time. CH will now be working at the peds office on a PRN basis. MB is now full-time and I will be 3 days a week for August, maybe less later, maybe more.

I think if I do end up staying on permanently I'll have to come up with a nickname other than "peds office". I love working there, aside from the learning curve...zig zag. It's definitely been an experience to remember! I'll forever be thankful my girls came through for me and MB thought to call me!

where do you work?

I was reading this article on non-traditional nursing, since this aspect of nursing intrigues me. If I do start out my career in a hospital I do not foresee it lasting forever there.

I'd like to hear from everyone, about where you work, or where you have worked. Any nurses out there in blogworld who do non-traditional nursing?

looking forward to friday

As this week comes to a close I come to realize certain things about myself. Over the past few years I've grown more reclusive, and have found it suits me. There once was a time I would say, "Someday I'm going to go live in the mountains and be a hermit!" It seems this self-fulfilling prophecy has come to fruition! I live close to the Blue Ridge mountains, and have found that keeping pretty much to my immediate family, and a few friends holds happiness, whereas I used to surround myself with tons of people, and reveled in it. Age happens, and with it wisdom. Bitterness? Hardening against external forces? The Great Wall of Kirsten? Pain leads to learning. You get hurt and eventually you don't want to give in to the possibility of it happening again. Not to mention that having a family, a full-time job, college coursework, pets...who has time for much else? This is not to say I don't enjoy the company of the few friends I hold dear. Some are near in geography while others are only near in heart.

Something else I marvel at is my inability to hold phone conversations, at least as something enjoyable. I still have a few friends from past lives who call me, do I return the favor? Rarely. I can only hope they don't take it too incredibly personal. I just don't enjoy talking on the phone like I once did. The 'net is the best way to stay in touch with this chick!

My job threw me for a loop last week, prior to the start of school this week. There are probably about 12-15 assistants who work at the HS with me. Of them only a few hold permanent positions within the school. The rest of us, as made so evident last week, are indispensable in the positions we hold. Prior to Thursday I worked one on one with a girl who has cerebral palsy. I enjoyed working with her last year, even if sometimes it became frustrating. Even a saint would find frustration working with one person day after day! This time last week I found out I had been switched with another assistant into a classroom with special needs children ranging from severe emotional disturbance to mental retardation. Although I had no warning to the switcheroo I welcomed the change, still do, as I need more experience with a larger group of students, then I was getting before. It's taking some getting used to, especially being in one classroom all day, but I'm really enjoying it. We have twelve students, mostly boys. They're all great kids to work with. Sure there are bumps a long the way, but that's to be expected. Because my future ambitions include teaching special education this experience is invaluable. (7/31/08 Umm, nope, not doing that! Switched mid-year back to my original career ambition~nursing~start classes 8/26/08)

That brings me to the goals over the next year. Primarily this means graduating December 08 with my B.S. in Psychology. Because I have 5 courses to take, and four of them are prerequisites for one another it's going to take me four semesters to finish. Rest assured next year will be one with great satisfaction looming at it's end! (7/31/08~Down to 1, plus the one I'm finishing up August 15th!)

It will be a year of many milestones. Mine is just the cherry of the whole sundae that is the year 2008 for the Scannons of Virginia. BZ will turn 15 in March, and Big B will be retiring from the Air Force after nearly 21 years in (done~May, 08)!

I guess the best lesson learned in any life is that of gratefulness of what just is, the small things, and all that you hold dear in your heart. Inner peace and tranquility will remain themes for my life as I close out my thirties....which I still have a few years to go on that!