curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy

Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy. ~Walt Disney

Plentiful, boundless amounts of curiosity.

A little short on the rest.

My confidence needs to improve and it will, as I have the courage to push past my fears of the unknown. Constancy will soon be had.

Today we had our "first" non-orientation day of clinicals. It was supposed to be our first at least. We weren't able to do any patient care because we weren't assigned passwords yet--big hold up in the staff education/computer access/gatekeeper part of the hospital.

Someone said recently that the first few weeks of the third semester are really hard to get through, but once you do it's smooth sailing. It's still touhg as it is nursing school, but it's doable.

I guess it's kind of like the first five years of marriage.

Well, I've made it through nearly seventeen years of marriage, life in the military and being married to it, and some other things that make people stronger.

I should have skin thicker than any elephant's or rhinoceros's!

When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation -- it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams. ~Les Brown

how freakin' fabulous!!

One of my newest Blogworld friends has honored me with this wonderful award!! How freakin' fabulous! Raspberry Scrubs is pretty freakin' fabulous herself!

Rules of the Award:

List five current obsessions.
Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

I'm going to have to keep this short and sweet, because I have some serious hours of reading in my textbooks to put in, but here goes...

5 obsessions
1. my guys
2. chocolate
3. flowers/gardening
4. medical/nursing shows
5. photography

5 freakin' fabulous bloggers:
1. Chasing Myself
2. Running Wildly
3. Nursapalooza
4. Life is Full of Blessings
5. Lorie's Corner

I really could have listed everyone on my blogroll, because everyone on there is freakin' fabulous--so if you don't find yourself on here, know that because I've placed you on my blogroll I think you're amazing...however, I really have to get reading!

how about some kibble with that neosporin?

I walked into the house to a small mess of a shredded up sandwich bag, bandaids and some other unidentifiable something-or-another. I knew it had to have come from my clinical bag sitting innocently on the computer room floor, and I knew who the culprit had to be.

Nope, not Sandi. Sandi goes for truly edible items or garbage from food. Nope, it wasn't Sandi.

This had to be a Minnie mess. Minnie rummages through the upstairs bathroom garbage and pulls out anything she finds tempting. I won't mention the unmentionables she's dined on a time or two.

The "unidentifiable something-or-another"? A massacred tube of neopsorin.

Lovely.





Aside from that mess the earlier part of the morning was a success. I went and paid for and picked up my ATI books. Bottom's up: Med/Surg, child, maternal/newborn, and community health. We don't even take the med/surg ATI test this semester, but considering the girth of the book it behooves one to start reading...yesterday.

I passed the dosage calculations test. I did have trouble with the IV calculations, just as I thought I would. So, obviously I"ll be emphasizing on that area in my studies of pharmacology.

As I sit here typing I can say my bottom is quite comfortable on my new cushion. It's actually a neck massager, with vibrator. I'm not using it for that though, just sitting on it makes me feel better! It took forever to find it in Walmart. I looked in the baby section for a Boppy and came up with nothing, then went to the fitness sections--still nothing, then onto the pillows--zippo, and then it occured to me that they might have something near the pharmacy in the medical equipment section. Wrong, but on the next aisle over was the selection of massagers and such...voila! Best part is, it was on sale!

Although I have, figuratively speaking, pain-in-the-butt dog(s) and nursing school exams, my hiney is feeling more finey!

on a mission

After class today I'm heading straight for the nearest Walmart to buy a Boppy or butt cushion because I can't take the "study butt" any longer! Even in class I'm sitting there in agony. Maybe I'll just get one of those airline pillows that goes around your neck. That way it's a little more transportable than something larger.

Yesterday we took our first exam in maternal/child nursing and I passed (barely) with an 82. That's much better than I thought I was going to do, so I'm happy. I did promptly after a day filled with lecture, go to my local Borders and bought the Prentice Hall Maternal/Newborn Reviews and Rationales book. Our textbook is monstrous and just too hard to weed through, so I figure this will be a good supplement. I'll probably have to buy the one on child health as well. Whatever it takes to make the grade!

I have to go pay for ATIs this week. Yeah, we do have to pay $183...still not understanding how it jumped to more than double what we paid the past two semesters.

Today we have our first dosage calculations test of the semester. I think I'll do ok. I have trouble with the IV drips that call for meds. I really don't have all that much trouble, but it's more like when I sit down with the test I'm going to mix it all up in my head as to what I'm supposed to be doing. Extraneous information confuses me!

whiskey tango foxtrot

Make an acronym out of the the title and you have the kind of expression I thought to myself as I looked for my car this afternoon upon leaving the hospital after orientation.

I was extremely excited. We'd had a great day, and I was off to go have my Tb test site checked, then on to get a much needed pedicure. After changing in the bathroom I set out for the parking lot. To understand my story you should understand that the hospital sits up on a hill, surrounded by other buildings and there are parking lots at varying levels. The roads leading up to the hospital wind around so you don't have a straight shot at viewing a whole road in its entirety.

When I arrived this morning I made the first right and parked in what was probably illegal parking as it was, but as I still wasn't sure about where employess are supposed to park I thought it better than the spot where I parked yesterday. Leaving the hospital after orientation I walked down, and turned left into what I thought was the same lot from this morning. As I'm approaching where I was quite certain my car would be, I realized it was not there. I spent a few minutes searching, to include with the use of the alarm button on the car remote. Nothing...

It occured to me that I'd really messed up, parking in an illegal spot, and had been towed. Back to the hospital I went, where security was called to come and help me. The security guard walked back out with me. He asked if I was sure I'd parked there and not the lot below. So as we're walkng he asks what kind of car I drive, and I respond with the make and model. Sure enough it's not there!

So we keep walking down to the other lot.

He saw it first.

I thanked him and apologized profusely and off he went back to the building.

Really, I'm thinking I now know what dementia is like first hand! At the very least I know how Jessie and Chester felt..."Dude! Where's my car!"

Ahem...

So that topped off my first week of second year! I left after regaining my composure from laughing at myself, and went and had my Tb test checked. Then went for a much needed pedicure and it was one of the best I've ever had!

Speaking of first weeks, it was pretty good I'd say!

Monday was exhausintg. Tuesday was a lighter day, but I felt stressed as I thought I would never catch up on the reading. Yesterday we were oriented to the unit we will be doing clinicals on in our first rotation. Today turned out (aside from the parking lot debacle) way better than I thought it was going to upon realizing students from the other local CC would be doing clinicals right alongside our class! This is the first year they've had two schools doing clinicals at the same time. They've had externships where schools were mixed, but not clinicals.

Now, if you've followed my blog you know I'd thought about transferring. This other CC, where these other students are from, is the one I would have transferred to. I thought for sure they were going to be a bunch of know-it-alls making us look bad. We learned that that wasn't the case. After the hospitalschmospital orientation and a break the staff educator had us group up, after counting off by 6s. Therefore we were forced to integrate. I'm so glad they did that! It ended up being a great experience! Our group worked well together and came up with answers to our scenario without any problem. There was some stuff that they knew better, and some stuff we knew better.

I, of course, took the opportunity to ask some questions and am now even more happy with my decision to stay put. Sure there may be some things that are better about their program, but we have our own strengths as well.

Nobody is perfect!

seriously in need of a butt pillow

seriously...


All this sitting, and studying...sitting, and reading....sitting and doing drug calculations, leaves my hiney not feeling so finey!

My butt-tocks (think Forrest Gump) are screaming for some extra added cushion, which I don't understand. I didn't name me arse "Colorado" (it used to be "Texas" before I lost the weight) for nothing! The total lack of muscular tone probably has something to do with that.

Now we've come full circle. If I wasn't sitting on me arse so much maybe I could be working on toningi it up.

Have I mentioned I am in nursing school???

Seriously. It's a PITA! (pain in the a$$)

So, I'm thinking of getting a boppy (they're not just for breastfeeding, ya know!)...or maybe a bonafied butt pillow.

first day, second year

e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d.

Put a mortgage closing (because that's about how many papers we signed today), carrying at least 15 lbs in books, a steam roller, and shell shock together and you have moi, today the first day of my second year of nursing school.

Ever heard the phrase "I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet"? Yeah, that about covers it!

We had clinical instructors come in and speak briefly on clinicals. We went over clinical schedules. We had our regular instructor fill us to bursting at the seams with information for this semester. We were yet again notified of the $183 we'd be paying for the ATI tests for this semester. We were notified that ATI tests would count for 5% of our final grade. Some of us were given letters of notification of vaccinations that were due. I have to do my PPD. We went over this year's edition of the nursing student handbook. We were told that board scores are up 10% from the last year's. We'll be the class to bring it even higher, we were told. We sat for lecture. We did get a few breaks, and an hour for lunch.

All in all, although it was an exhausting day, it was exciting. I was up at 0240, and it took a while to get back to sleep, so that doesn't help with the fatigue. I have to do some reading and signing papers I didn't get signed in class, along with the stuff the boys brought/bring home.

I can only hope to stay awake long enough to go to bed at a decent itme, and then maybe I'll sleep through the night...

...then on to day two!

last friday of freedom

Wouldn't ya know it, I logged onto Blackboard yesterday morning and low and behold there glaring back at me from the screen was the line-up of this Fall's classes. Instant panic, mortification, excitement, anticipation, all those radical emotions, consumed me like Cookie Monster eating some chocolate chippers. Because I share so well, and truly am a team player, I immediately logged onto Facebook and posted the news as my status message. Knowing some of my classmates are not on Facebook (for shame) I texted them so they could share in the morning's delight.

After next week, Labor Day Monday will be the only Monday that we do not have an exam until after final exams the week of December 14th. (Is it Christmas, yet??) We have two exams our second week. Mondays are our Principles & Concepts and the Maternal/Newborn class. The Monday exams flip flop between the two classes. There are five weeks where we'll also have an exam on Tuesdays, in our Health Assessment class. Dosage calculations will be combined into those exams. We have two case studies due later in the semester for P&C, as well as two assignments each for the other two classes. There is reference made to care plans in the syllabi, but nothing giving any specific information as to how many we'll have to do, or any other requirements.

I'm pleased with my clinical group assignment. The nineteen in my class from this past Spring are all returning and there are 7 LPN transition or wash back students joining us. One of them is in my clinical group. I hope all the new people mesh as well with our original group as we all have so far. We still have one male classmate, amongst all of us girls.

The clinical schedule looks like it will be interesting and provide us with some really good experience and learning opportunities. This semester we'll rotate through our local hospital as well as one that's in a neighboring county. My group only spends one week there (that being two days), which is fine with me since it is an hour or more away. We'll rotate through med/surg/telemetry/ortho and OB units where we'll receive hands on training. We'll also do observation only training in the ER, OR, PACU, radiology and other such places. We also do a peds rotation at a local pediatric clinic. It is also observation only.

As it is, today I am excited, yet still very anxious and nervous about this semester. I'm choosing to go in thinking as positively as possible. I'm even going in giving our instructor the benefit of the doubt. The primary second year instructor is the one from my mental health class who pretty much "taught" from PPTs that were straight from the book. I'm hopeful that she'll expand upon this year's material more than the MH material as she has more experience in the other areas.

Today I'm off to do some grocery shopping at my favorite place in the world (ha!), a military commissary. This evening the guys and I are going to see Inglourious Basterds. Tomorrow I'm not sure what we'll do early on. LB has try outs for a local showcase type baseball team in the afternoon. Big B is going to Crue Fest. I was originally planning on going but have decided against it (I may have mentioned this before--early senility...). Instead I'm having some friends over for a last hurrah of summer, a "ladies night in". We'll eat, drink, be merry and just have a good ole time. Sunday I plan to get a head start on my reading, and do some last minute home/family organizational type things.

Then Monday we're off to school!

summer's end is near

Lyrics | Foo Fighters lyrics - Summer's End lyrics

Ok, so summer isn't quite over, yet. In five days and a wake up it certainly will be. Gone. Over.

It's on to new beginnings and new adventures.

LB will be a junior in high school, and AW will be an 8th grader. I will begin my second year of nursing school. Big B will be alongside us all as we start and go through this school year. He'll help with homework, and shuttling the boys to their activities. He'll help me. He'll be my shoulder when all I want to do is quit.

This last week will be spent organizing the house for my tolerance during the next semester. I'm even gong to make up a rule chart for the guys to have, so there will be no question as to what is expected of them...all 3 of them! Yesterday I took LB to court to get his official driver's license as is the norm in the state of Virginia. All teens under the age of 18 must attend a court session to attain their license. We've also got to go to the high school to pay fees, buy LB's parking permit and pick up his textbooks. I'm going to go to lunch with some former co-workers. I also need to do the grocery shopping at some point in all of this.

Saturday is Crue Fest. We have six tickets to it, and I was originally going to go. Motley Crue is the only group that will be there that I'm familiar with, and I really just don't feel like hanging around for hours upon hours. I'd rather go out with some friends for a few hours or have a ladies night inn.

I was going to take the boys, and possibly some of their friends, to King's Dominion one of the these days this week. When I said something to LB about it he protested. He finds KD "boring". AW isn't a big roller coaster rider, so he probably could care less himself.

I guess it's just that time of summer when we're all ready to get back to the ole school grind.

5 days and a wake up!

mind blowing news

Yesterday after Big B arrived home we set out to go to a nearby campground to check out the RV spaces for my father-in-law. He's visiting over Labor Day weekend. The drive takes about 20 or so minutes, so it gave us plenty of time to chit chat about the day's goings on. It actually wasn't that long into the drive that Big B proceeded to inform me of something that had me speechless, flabbergasted more like.

Let's back up a bit though. We moved to Virginia in 2005, coming back from an overseas assignment. We had been stationed in VA prior to our tour in Italy, so we knew we liked the state. We knew we could settle down for a while. Looking toward the future, which is necessary with children, we knew we wanted to be able to keep them grounded in one area so they could at least finish their high school years.

Let's back up even further. I have never lived anywhere longer than 6 1/2 years. My parents moved my brother and I one month before the end of my ninth grade year. In Texas (where we moved from) and Colorado (where we moved to) ninth grade was still part of junior high school. I've never had a problem making friends. That being said who wants to leave friends behind that you've had for 6 1/2 years, the longest span ever? Then who really wants to make friends during the last month of ninth grade knowing those very friends could end up going to a totally different high school than you? This is all not to mention I moved from Texas to Colorado. Can we say "cultural differences"? People in Colorado had me repeat things I said, just to hear me say them again, that's if they understood me the first time. Yee-haw.

I knew I did not want my children to have to be uprooted in such a fashion. In fact I have wanted my children to grow everlasting roots. I revel in the fact that they in fact have done exactly so. We've been very happy settling down in our current place of residence. We've made great friends. The boys are happy. They adjusted with few bumps along the way when we first moved here.

So can you guess the words my husband uttered? the words I didn't think would be uttered ever again? Never say never.

There's a chance that if I get a certain promotion we may need to move to Florida in a year or so.

My very brief, initial reaction was thorough elation as I fell in love with FL when we vacationed there in 2007, and we stayed in the area that we would relocate to, so I know I would like it there.

HOWEVER.

LB is heading into his Junior year of high school this year. Where would that put him in a year or so??? AW will be going into 8th grade. He'll be heading into high school in a year.

LB was my very next thought after that oh so brief moment of selfish elation. I knew the theme for his pleas would be absolute irrefutable refusal to budge.

It was apparent I had to snap out of my shell shock and get on with our task at hand. We took photos of the RV lot, then went on our merry way. We had to run a couple of errands, and then we picked up dinner and headed home. It wasn't until later, but Big B finally informed the boys of the news. I felt it was important to give them a year or so to come around (ha) to the idea.

LB had been over at a friends house, so after we reassured him that this is only a "if" he left in a huff and went back to his friends house [who happens to be a neighbor]. After a few minutes I texted him, asking if he was ok. His reply:

Me: r u ok?
LB: What kinda question is that? Hell no im not okay im serious if we have to move im staying with somebody to go my senior year here. Ill come visit and stuff.

I literally copied/pasted/emailed/copied/pasted his response from my Blackberry to this post. You'll have to excuse his language and grammatical errors. For one I can't say as if I blame him for the language and quite frankly not even I'm picky about grammar on text messages.

In a way his response is sort of funny. It's not shocking in the least.

In some ways I welcome the possibility of relocating. I mean come on, we've been here four years already. My internal nomad feels it's time to wonder off somewhere else. Then there's the fact that we are settled. We could stay here long term, as in for life. That's all not to mention the fact that we are in in-state tuition status considering our soon (time is flying fast) to be college kid.

I'm not ready for him to leave for college and I'm certainly not ready to leave him behind.

AW has come around. After finding out exactly where we would be moving to he said "Let's go now!"

So, that's the news. It's all very iffy right now. Big B has even gotten annoyed with how the boys and I have reacted to it. We'll just have to wait and see.

We'll cross the [relocation] bridge if we come to it.