drama free as of late

This past weekend pretty much went off without a hitch. It's either restrictions placed on AW keeping him from causing too much frustration or Murphy decided to visit someone else, maybe both. The weekend was also pleasant considering it was Valentine's Day on Saturday. I've eluded before to the fact that birthdays and romantic holidays have not received the attention desired by me, but so far this year has been a bit different. Maybe it's just my standards have lowered. Who knows? Bottom line I don't have any complaints from the past few days, even Saturday!

Friday we sent the boys off to the skating rink that has reopened after closing several years ago. It's a great thing for our area considering there's not much to do around here, especially this time of year. Big B and I watched Pride and Glory with Ed Norton and Colin Ferrell. We gave it a thumbs up. Earlier in the day I was able to get in some worthwhile studying.

Saturday we spent being lazy, I did some studying and then we topped it all off with a great dinner. When we were in Italy we dined at several favorite restaurants, and I've tried to replicate some of the recipes we enjoyed. Big B loves the steak with arugula, parmesan and balsamic vinegar. We had that with a side of risotto with mushrooms. Our beverage of choice was Cabernet Sauvignon. I think I'm allergic to red wines. Everytime I drink one I end up with a massive headache that same night.

We'd rented two other movies for the weekend. Saturday night I ended up viewing one of them by myself as the guys gave it a thumbs down! I liked it though. Dorothy Mills,a psychological thriller set in Ireland is sure to give you goosebumps.

With our second Mental Health Nursing exam tomorrow I was able to squeeze in some studying for it, and medications and perioperative nursing for our other classes.

Sunday was yet another lazy day, the highlight being our viewing of Fireproof. Big B and LB watched it with me, even though they spent more time making fun of it than anything else. I swear sometimes I think I live with two fifteen year olds! It was a good movie, despite the poor acting. The theme was definitely something any couple could take something from. The guys were pretty irritated that there wasn't more firefighting in it. I think the movie left its mark, however temporary, on Big B as he was sweeter than he'd been all weekend. He bordered on syrupy, sickening sweet. I love that guy!

Nonetheless we all got along for the most part, there weren't any teen/preteen related incidents and I was able to get a moderate amount of studying in!

Besides our MH exam tomorrow we have our Pharm class and we'll be going over IV meds. I've got basic drug calculations down, but the IV meds are giving me a little more grief. I just need to practice more than I have been.

A classmate called me after class today and told me about an article concerning the turnover rate for new nurses and how some hospitals are dealing with the issue.

Today's another one of those days, after so many of feeling confident and sure of my decision to become a nurse, where I have repressed feelings come back to haunt me. Back when I was active duty confidence was not one of my vocabulary words, so I struggled with a lot. At 38 I'm more confident than I was at 18-19-20, however, like I said, it's insecurities that have been living at the back of my mind resurfacing. As the days press on my classmates and I are facing our first clinical rotation together and it's at a long term care facility. Actually two groups are going to one LTC and a third group is going to the other LTC. In many ways I'm so excited, but also extremely nervous. I feel like that 19 year old again! I look forward to the experience feeding into a heightened level of confidence for me.

to love someone

How do I love thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

the hair saga

Aw is in for a big surprise this afternoon when he arrives home from school! Although it's nowhere near as bad as it was at first, there is still Vaseline in his hair. The 'net is a plentiful source of a plethora of information and didn't disappoint this time. I think I'm going to try a can of beer first though. Then it'll be the cornstarch.

to be continued...

the culprit

this is not a hair product!!!

torrential downpour

Last night as we laid in bed watching LOST we were surprised to hear the sound of the rain coming down outside. It was as if the floodgates had opened up and copious amounts of water came crashing down upon our house. AW had been watching TV with us, but when the rain started he went and looked out the window. Big B and I rushed to the window when he told us how bad the wind was blowing and how hard the rain was coming down. We just had to see for ourselves!

When I was little my mom used to tell me that different sorts of weather happened because of the angels in Heaven. If it was snowing the angels were having a pillow fight, if it was thundering God was yelling, and if it was raining the angels were crying. The storm that passed through last night dumped a torrential downpour on the area. We were spared any serious weather, such as what Oklahoma experienced when the tornadoes touched down on Tuesday.

The last few weeks I've felt like crying, and have, often. It's the stress of family and school. It's not so much the two combined, but separate factors inherent to both that test my strength almost daily.

It all goes to my order and chaos theory of my life. Order and chaos evolve through my life in sort of a cyclic manner, ebbing and flowing at different rates. Sometimes there's more order and others there seems to be extreme moments of chaos.

Our youngest son has tested us to no end over the past week. We've not only caught him after he's smoked cigarettes, but he also brought three Ds home on his report card, and to top it all off he snuck out of the house Saturday night. All in one week.

How did we find out he snuck out? Let me tell you. Sunday morning Big B went downstairs first, and I followed soon after. Once I arrived downstairs he informs me that he thinks AW had just gone to sleep. AW was on the couch in our great room, where the kids will often sleep on weekends. When Big B had checked on him he noticed that AW's hair looked wet.

Why would his hair be wet in the morning, at about 8 o'clock in the morning? Let me tell you. I went out and felt it and it didn't feel wet as if he'd just wet it with water. It felt wet with grease, and I don't mean a little oily scalp type of wet. I mean greasy as if he'd smoothed cooking oil through it. Yuck!

I immediately sent him upstairs to shower. No one lays on my pillows with grossly greasy hair!

While he was showering I went into his room and found the pants he'd been wearing the day before on his laundry basket. They were more soiled (he'd ran through a mud puddle earlier the day before and there were streaks of caked on mud on the pantlegs), than they had been when he'd changed into his PJs. There were smudges of what looked like caked on powder on them. Of course this clued me in to the fact that something was definitely up and I set out to find out exactly what.

What did he actually do to get his hair greasy like that? Or to soil his pants like they were? Let me tell you. At first we couldn't get a straight answer out of him. Long story, short, he had snuck out our side door, went to a "friend's" house, snuck in the window there, and then they both left from there and went to some 17 year old's house. AW is 12. At first he told us that they'd put mousse and gel in his hair, which I knew wasn't right because those products don't grease up like that! His final contention was he "couldn't remember" what it was they'd used.

Aw's hair was still greasy after showering, so I decided to wash it. I shampooed it twice to no avail. I had to go to Quantico that day(never again on a Sunday!!), so he went with me and we stopped at a Hair Cuttery on the way. The stylist washed his hair with their "most clarifying" shampoo and it barely did anything. She asked if I wanted her to do a special treatment. I agreed to have it done. He had to sit under one of those dryers for several minutes with some sort of chemical on his hair. It was a smidgen better. She cut his hair and we were on our way.

Taking a 12 year old grocery shopping is torture, but only for him. He didn't ask for anything. He really didn't have much to say.

Here it is Thursday and he's washed his hair daily since Sunday. It is still somewhat greasy. Bleck!!!

The school part of stress is well, never ending. Stress occurs, even in the best of nursing programs. It's the nature of the beast.

We as nursing students should not have to deal with inadequacies of a program though!

What's going on now, you ask? Well, I'm not going to get too far into it as it will enrage me, and since the sun is shining today I would like to have a good day. It's pretty much more of the same, along with frustration over a teacher who doesn't teach, just reads from PPTs and unfounded, bottomless accusations against my classmates. These problems aren't exclusive to my program, I'm sure, which is another reason I'm choosing not to blather on more about it. However, along with everything else it doesn't help. It hinders concentration and progression!

As with much in life you just have to press on. You have to push past frustrations and not let them consume you.

say a little prayer

for my sanity

Any mother who has sons knows why, especially the mothers of teenage sons. I highly recommend those of you with young sons place them up for adoption around the time they turn 11, and then reconnect with them when they're about 22-24. No, really I love my boys with all my heart, but boy oh boy are they ever giving my husband and I a ton of stress lately! No time to get into it right now, though.

Thanks Mom for the jinx you put on me when I was being a bit of an unruly teenager!

Here's a prayer for us nursing students. I have no idea where I acquired it from, but just came across it in my "Keepers" file here on my PC. Enjoy!

THE STUDENT NURSE'S PRAYER

Lord, I know we go through this every day but please give me the knowledge as to why I actually wanted to go to nursing school.
Lord, give me the strength to make it through those boring three hour lectures without falling asleep.
Lord, please give me the patience to make it through twelve hour clinicals with instructors that can't just give you the right answer and on the same note, give the nurses the ability to remember what it was like to be a student and give us just a little more respect.
Lord, give me the endurance to read all the assigned readings and be able to remember it when I am taking a test with four right answers.
Lord, give my family and friends the ability to realize I really am on the edge of insanity.
Finally, Lord, give me the vision to see that one day I will be a real nurse and I will never have to wear this ugly uniform again.
~auther unknown

Now I must read the rest of my pharmacology and mental health chapters, and complete my pharm homework, all for tomorrow.

ché bello giorno!

It was a beautiful day! As dusk ascends upon us here on the East Coast I look back on the day. The sun was shining and I believe it at least reached the high 60s! It felt nice after the frigid temps we've been experiencing lately!

Reminds me of one of my passions, and that is my gardens. I don't know how much time I'll have to work in them this year, and may have to enlist the help of my sons and their friends to help throw mulch and open up the gardens for spring.

This is a photo of my petunias from the year before last


The day was also much enjoyed because I went and took in some much needed self-care/pampering. I got my hair cut, and had a pedicure.

The guys have all been pleasant to be around, when they've been around. We're down by one for the eveing as LB is off at a friend's house for a sleepover.

The evening will be spent finishing up a movie I started with Big B, eating dinner and then reading the two chapters I need to read for Monday.

Buona Sera!

PDAs

Some nursing programs require the use of PDAs, but mine is not one of them. It is my understanding that it is because of cost. Whatever.

They do allow us to use them if we have one...


I'm looking into purchasing a Blackberry (seems like the smart option when one also needs a cell phone), but would like to hear consumer reports from others who have PDA experience! So chime in! Please!

gone and done it

Ok, for some odd reason we were required to have our uniforms ordered by February 2nd. I haven't been able to make the trip to the store we just had to order from, since it is an hour away. It's in a town that I have no other reason to go to, and usually don't even go near. I made half a day of it. There were other tasks that needed to be accomplished, such as purchasing pet supplies, shoe shopping and I wanted to stop by Books-A-Million to see if they had a book I was looking into. My first stop was the uniform store and I took the ten minutes to try on the size the woman predicted I would need and place my order for the uniforms. I even paid a little extra for her to ship them to me, rather than me having to make another trip across Virginia.

Come to find out the reason behind the February 2nd deadline was because the store places the order every other week and that would allow enough time to place orders and receive them, and then have our patches sewn on all before we start our clinicals March 11th. If I'd have been comfortable in knowing what size I actually needed I would have gone ahead and ordered the stuff online, but was so unsure I decided it was in my best interest to just tke the road trip. As it is they should arrive on my doorstep sometime at the end of this month.

I've also placed an order for my shoes. I did that just a few minutes ago from here at home. I'd already tried them on, and after exhausting hours searching for a perfect pair, decided upon Grasshopper's Stretch Plus Sneaker, shown here

They are incredibly comfortable. It feels like you're stepping on pillows, and in a way you are since they are padded that well. I wanted to find a certain pair of New Balance shoes that came highly reviewed but wasn't able to find them in stores.

Our pants taper down the calf somewhat and I think these more slimlined shoes will look better. Do the people who picked these ugly pants out not understand that they are not flattering to anyone!? Let alone those of us who already hippy???

I'd mentioned that there was a rumor going around that our program is under the proverbial microscope. Come to find out it is a fact.

A classmate encountered a graduate from our program, from this past year, and this person told her of the 20 who took the NCLEX only 4 passed. Lovely. So yes, I will definitely be applying for a transfer. If for some reason I do not get to transfer I will invest in a NCLEX prep class!

Would someone like to take Murphy off my hands for a while!?

as if i don't have enough to worry about!

This morning as I was dining on my oatmeal I decided to go to a few of the local hospital websites to see what positions they have open, and low and behold a couple of them have externships posted already!

My resume is a mess. Any tips? Anyone good at writing resumes? If you'd prefer to contact me by email concerning this, go to my profile and there is a link to my email under the picture.

On a side note, as I walked my weary behind into the house and rounded the corner into the kitchen this is what greeted me:

In the left hand corner of the photo you can see our garbage can. It is made of stainless steel, and can only be opened by stepping on the lever down in the front of it.

This would be the guilty party:

I'm convinced Sandi knows how to step on that lever. She succeeded and was able to plow her way through the remnants of our Dairy Queen dinner from last night.