the deed is done

This morning I woke up around 0900 after a pretty good night's rest, thanks to Ambien. I had to take it or I would never have slept a wink. I laid there until about 2245 and finally decided playing Bejeweled Blitz wasn't going to make me sleepy as it normally does. I placed the iPhone on the nightstand, rolled over and was a goner within minutes. Thank you, Ambien!

It was nice to wake up in such a good mood. Big B and AW had returned during the night from their man-bonding trip, so I quickly made my way downstairs to check on Big B. He'd graciously slept downstairs, so as not to disturb my slumber. Aww! He is so sweet! He'd already awakened for the morning and was just tinkering around. AW was still catching ZZZs and LB had crashed at a friend's house.

I actually don't remember much other than all of that. What I do remember is my good buddy, Ethel* picking me up and us making our way up to the town where we would meet our doom - I mean take our NCLEX exams. We stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel. You know, comfort food..food to feed the brains. It wasn't long before we had to make an, ummm...urgent stop for ummm...my..umm...intestines-that-are-not-liking-the-current-hypernervousness level. And we didn't stop just once.

Then we arrived at the testing center with a few minutes to spare. There was one other nervous test-taker in front of us signing in. Then it was Ethel's turn. After she was done and escorted into the gloom room, I was then checked in. We may as well have been entering the classified materials archive in the Pentagon.

Finger prints AND palm prints? Really? Us fledgling nurse-types are certainly a bunch of dishonest sorts. I mean, what, with our eager need to please and be perfect. Geez, give us time to get develop burn-out and then be suspicious!

Then it was time. I sat there staring at that monitor briefly, hoping it would start blinking with notification that I was the lucky, 1billionth test-taker and had been chosen to receive an honorary license. No need to sit through the grueling exam!

As if!

Nope, through the tutorial I went and then onto the real thing.

You know, I must've completed around 3000 questions in preparation. As time went on, my averages went up.

Today?



















Ha! It might as well have been στα ελληνικά. I hit
next" on the 75th queston and it kept going. Ugh! I thought to myself "Ok, KLS...you're going to be in it for the long haul". Then wouldn't you know it, around question 82-83 the screen went blue! Still, there wasn't any notification of an honorary license, but NCLEX was over. I lived through it.

This is what 22+ months of nursing school(not counting the past 11 or so years since I decided to go to nursing school) has come down to...80 some odd, mind-blowing, make-me-doubt-all-I-know questions. A friend of mine, who took it Monday, told me of the 78 she lived through, 4 was the total of what she felt comfortable with. Me? zero. Ethel had about the same number of questions as I did.

Now we wait.

We left the test center feeling as if we'd been rode hard and put away wet. We called our other buddy, RG,RN, and complained about the ridiculousness of what we'd just been through. Yes, RG (78 questions, from above) made it.

We're not one of the 48 hours results states. Yeha, that was the other attachment that came with our ATT email. If you live in this state you may receive your results in 48 hours by paying... Those, from our class, who took it this past week, found out the next day. Since today is Friday Ethel asked, after finishing her exam, and was told "next busniess day". One of the other girls we graduated with called the BoN and found out we should be able to call tomorrow afternoon and find out.

Guess it'll be another Ambien night!

*Name changed for privacy...I'm Lucy, and she is Ethel, as we were known in nursing school.

All this and I might have a job! I got a call from a local hospital's nurse recruiter yesterday!

big gulp

First, let's start off with some shots I snapped of the fireworks from Sunday's 4th of July display...








When I'm tense or upset in any way I like to do things that I enjoy. I love the photos of the fireworks, since they allow me to look at the bursts of color as many times as I'd like. The third one up from the bottom reminds me of sperm swimming in after an ovum.

Why am I tense? I'm tense because I take the NCLEX VERY SOON!

So far our class has been doing very well. Of the 7 people that I know of who have taken it, 5 have passed. I'm extremely sad for the ones who didn't.

I really can't wait to have it behind me. It'll be so wonderful to be able to go out and search for a job, and do the other million and one things I haven't been able to do because I've been strapped down to the old ball and chain of school and NCLEX preparation!

As for the remainder of today, I'm going to go over some pharmacology, and do my last set of questions. LB is the only one at home right now because Big B and AW took a trip up to NJ to get away, and let me have some peace. I think LB and I will go out to dinner tonight and catch a movie.

This time tomorrow I'll be on my way! NCLEX or bust!

independence '10

Happy Independence Day everyone!

I took these photos during our fireworks outing last year. I got several good shots, and think they're pretty cool for their vibrant colors and designs.



It's great to have the freedom to watch such awesome displays.

I feel freedom and independence are extra-special to me this year, after finishing nursing school. The same day that I posted the last post, I received my ATT and was able to schedule my date for NCLEX. It's coming up pretty soon and I am beyond nervous, more like terrified. I've done a great job studying, and will continue to do so up until the day before I go in to do the deed. It'll be nice to have it behind me, and to have the freedom to spend my days with my family and friends, doing things I enjoy doing without having to worry about studying.

We're getting ready to head out in a few hours to go to a local event center/polo grounds to hang out with some friends, eat scrumptious food, play games, take in some polo and sit back and ooo and ahh over the fireworks display this year.

Enjoy your 4th of July!

only one blank to go

This morning I woke up in the same basically grumpy mood I've been existing in. It didn't help that I had to do the bills. After finishing that dastardly task I logged onto the department of health professions website to do my first of a kabillion obsessive checks to see if my transcripts had been checked, and wouldn't ya know it...they were! Although, I'm still left waiting for my ATT, seeing that the blanks were no longer blank turned my frown upside down! The only blank left to fill in is the one that says the NCLEX score was submitted.

one month, two days

This would be the reason, or at least a big reason why I'm having to proactively think positively (see previous post):



The blank blanks are still blank - one month and two days after commencement...no thanks to the astounding college I attended (insert vast amounts of sarcasm). Click on the chart to see it larger.

a dose of positivity

It seems there's been quite a bit of negativity seething from my pores lately, and sadly it's been reflected in my posts. This year has been challenging so far, so I'm going to point out some of the more positive highlights in an effort to help me realize it's not all been bad.

☺ First and foremost, me and mine are all healthy
☺ I passed the ATI Comprehensive Predictor on first attempt, and it showed I would have a 97% chance of passing NCLEX first time around
☺ Snooki came into our lives
☺ a dear friend designed a beautiful tattoo for me
☺ we went to NYC for NYE
☺ I had a great preceptorship experience, where I saw c-sections, vaginal deliveries, was able to take care of some wonderful families, and was able to do my first vaginal exam.
☺ I've made some everlasting friendships
☺ I've been able to go out and do some fun things with my family and friends, like the Medieval Times dinner
☺ I graduated from nursing school, a dream of 11+ years (more like 19, it just wasn't realized then)
☺ I've reconnected with some old friends
☺ My husband and I are going on 18 years of marriage
☺ LB and AW* will both be attending high school in the fall (*wasn't sure that was going to happen)
☺ I was able to spend time with my mom


I'm probably forgetting some things, but I really am thankful for the good in my life. It was important for me to point some1 of it out, even if it's for my own realization.

what could be worse for a new grad nurse?

What could be worse than to find out, nearly a month after graduation, that your transcripts were never sent out to the state department of health professions?

Many of us had voiced to one another that it did seem to be getting out of hand, as far as the time it was taking for our ATTs to be submitted to us. We even called the school about a week or two ago and asked if the transcripts had been sent out. We were reassured that they had been. Interesting.

It's interesting because today one of my peers had to go to the school, after recently receiving the letter telling him that his application for licensure was complete, all that was pending was the transcripts. When he'd originally sent out his application he sent it to the wrong place. It was sent back to him and then he resent it to the right place; hence, the reason he was receiving the before mentioned letter now. He thought for sure they had to have our transcripts by now, but when he inquired he was told they didn't have his. Off to the school he went. Another of our peers was also there, come to find out hers hadn't been sent either. They had the school check to see if anyone's had.

Nope. Nada, Zilch, Zippo. Our whole class was screwed.

We were advised to test as soon as you possibly could, once you feel comfortable to do so. I was hoping to test by the time the boys finished their school year up so that I wouldn't have to worry about studying once they were home.

Now I'm...we're... still left waiting to receive our authorization to test. Hmmmm. At this point when do you predict we'll be able to schedule our exams, considering the hoards of other NCLEX test takers who, by now, are receiving their ATTs and taking up the best test dates?

slumpalicious

If Weird Al Yankovic wrote me a song based on my current life situation it would be entitled "Slumpalicious" and he would sing it to the tune of "Fergalicious". That's where it would end because I by no means make any boys go loco. Well, maybe I drive my male offspring crazy. sometimes.

Anyway...

I've been in a bit of a slump lately. Things have not gone the way I thought they would have at this point in my life. In particular, I thought for sure I would be employed by now - I'm not. I thought I would have a date to take the NCLEX - I do not. It's all pretty frustrating and what makes it worse is I have little to no control over any of it at the moment. My fellow new grads and I, from my school, are still awaiting the entry of our transcripts into the SBN system. There are no new grad positions open anywhere and as the days go on we're further and further from being considered new grads. Without test dates we're unable to test and therefore have yet to be licensed.

It's ridiculous. I know my program was not the only program in the state, but come on! We've heard other new grads, from other programs, have received their ATTs and have subsequently been able to schedule their NCLEX dates.

Aside from all this I'm just feeling down in the dumps. I'm not used to being at home all the time with little to no social interaction. It's like a catch 22. Need to study for a test that I have yet to know when I'm taking it, and I can't get a job...

I've applied many places. Most places want a year or more of experience. If it's not been a requirement I've gone ahead and applied. I've even applied for a couple of non-RN jobs. One position was for an EKG support associate and one is as a medical assistant. At this point beggars can't be choosers.



I'm even considering a job that's not even in the medical field. It would be doing what I did before nursing school and that's working as a teacher's aide. There's also a social service assistant position open at a local nursing home. Honestly, I just want to work. Fortunately the social calendar is filling up over the next month. Tons of stuff is going on and I look forward to it.

Of course, then I still have NCLEX to study for...

gahhhhhhh!

Yep, that's about how I feel at this very moment.

I'm still waiting for my ATT (Authorization to test) and who knows if the school has even sent my transcripts. Part of me wants to call, but then part of me doesn't. At this point, one whole week after commencement, they should have sent them by now. I might go postal if they were to inform me that the transcripts were still sitting there on someone's desk ready to be set off.

It helps to go back and read other people's NCLEX induced anxiety experiences. Here's one at My Journey from a Student to a Nurse.

I've been doing questions everyday, except this past Saturday. I figured it would be a good day to take a break. I've also been going over content and will be putting more focus on areas where I feel I am lacking in knowledge. Right now I feel like that's pretty much everything! ARGHHH!

pinned

He's been not only my CFO the past several years, and then some, he's been my rock. My name was called, and so was his. Mine was mispronounced, as usual; his being more common, wasn't. As we stride closer to one another he exclaims "Thank God!" He starts to come at me with it as if he's going to poke my breast, but he's only joking. I told him he better not. Then he pins me. He kisses and hugs me. And then the journey was complete.






Then he ended up in my class pictures.

Our photographer showed up late, so we had to wait until the ceremony to have our photos taken.