just when you think...

...nothing else could possibly go wrong, wham!!

I thought for sure we were at our family quota for MVAs for well, at least six months.

I was wrong.

Last night, just as we had rolled over and started our night's slumber my husband's cell phone rang. I saw the picture of the caller and knew it was our eldest calling from Montana. Then I heard the words no parent ever wants to hear, "I've been in an accident...."

Then I promptly bursted into tears. Now mind you, my current situation leaves me exhausted and very frustrated by bedtime. But yeah, hearing your kid speak those words, especially when they're thousands of miles away, can bring a mom to tears.

out with the HH

As of today I'm no longer receiving home health services. I was last seen by my HH physical therapist and the nurse came today to discharge me.

Whoa, it's time for the big guns now!

Tomorrow I start outpatient physical therapy. Fortunately, my insurance (finally) approved the referral for me to go to PT at the hospital I work for. It's closer, which is important when depending on others to drive me.

Yesterday my Monday started off rough. No one was here to carry my scooter downstairs after it would be time for me to get up and ready for the day, so Big B took it down when he left for work. This left me with the crutches.

That's not so bad except 1.) it's exhausting when one has to crutch around at any point and for any length of time, 2.) it's even more so exhausting when one has to shower and made basically no preparations the night before, 3.) it's really bad when one falls.

I'd awakened earlier to make sure AW left for school on time (by way of phone calls) and just before returning to my slumber I'd heard something fall, but didn't pay it much mind. Well, after arising for the day I quickly learned it had been a caddy at my bedside that had been holding multiple objects, to include a small flashlight. Not realizing it was there, I neglected to scoot the flashlight out of my way. So I start crutching it and I swear it probably looked like a scene from a cartoon.

Aside from a bruise to my lower right shin, my left buttock and my ego, I'm ok.

I picked myself up, dusted myself off and went on with my day.

the penthouse

This past week has been a whirlwind of activity. My mom came for a visit, we went for my second follow-up with my surgeon and I finally moved upstairs to my own bedroom.

Yesterday, when my PT came for her last visit she walked into my bedroom and declared it "the penthouse". It is the top floor of my house and I love it. Being back in my own room has provided a feeling of normalcy that's been missing for some time now.

Sure, I've made progress over the past 6-7 weeks, but nothing quite beats your normal living patterns. I never thought I'd ever spend that much time in either of my sons' rooms. The time spent there was bittersweet. It enabled me to get to be a little closer to them, especially AW since he currently lives at home and has made his room his own space.

Going up and down the stairs has been bothersome to my tailbone, which had almost healed. I've also grown a bit accustomed to crutches, but not so much that I use them to go up and down the stairs. My left ankle and foot have enough problems without hopping from stair to stair on them. It's progress.

Progress means change, even if that change means returning to a previous existence.

Change is good.

it's progress!

Today I showered completely by myself and by that I mean not another soul was within my 3 acres, besides my animals. My first several showers after the accident were at the hands of Big B. I could barely move. We made due and he scrubbed me clean every other day. As the weeks have gone on I've been able to do more and more for myself. Once we moved me up to the main level I've pretty much been on my own showering, as long as someone else was in the house, just in case.

The foot looks better than it has all along. The swelling is all but gone. I've removed the steri-strips. They weren't going anywhere on their own since they didn't get much air time. The incision looks great. The scarring is going to be nothing but a faint line eventually.

Most of the bruising I had has vanished. There's a faint remnant of one on my left inner, lower thigh. Besides the ankle incision scar, I'll have three other battle wounds. The one on the back of my left hand, one on my left lower shin and one on my right knee.

As the weeks go by the scars will fade and eventually so will the bad memories. I'll always have the good memories, of love, kindness and tenderness.

this guy

Everything happens for a reason.

As if we didn't have enough fur, fluff and tummies to feed in our household we welcomed a new one in back in October.

We'd talked about getting a puppy. It would be good for the girls, Sandi and Minnie. Sandi is getting on in the years, at 11 and Minnie will need a companion when the time comes that Sandi is no longer with us. And well, heck we live in a bigger house now and have tons of room in our hearts.

I'd always said, after our first "baby" being a wonderful Golden Retriever, Jack, that we'd end up with at least one more Golden sharing our lives with us.

That being said I was swayed temporarily by some canines of smaller proportions, mainly Shichons. They're a cross between Shih-tzus and Bichon Frise and might I say absolutely adorable! Big B wasn't thrilled with the idea and well, I've always had an affinity for Goldens.

One day back in September I happened to be perusing an online yard sale page on Facebook and there they were, these cute little bundles of golden fluff, piss and vinegar! I was hooked. Originally, I picked one. I knew I wanted a male and preferred darker Goldens. We'd looked at some that were the color of sugar cookies years ago, but Jack was dark. He was almost as dark as Irish Setters. In fact, many times people would mistake him for them.

I contacted the breeder and set up to go that evening to her house to meet the pups. There were a total of 5, 2 females and 3 males, 1 male having been already spoked for. This left the one I originally picked from a cute picture the breeder had posted of the pups in plastic jack o' lantern buckets and with other props.

Big B was willing to go see them, since I'd originally reported they were located not too far south of the town just south of us. Oops. This is now something I'll never live down, since the breeder actually lives about 1.5 hours southwest of us!

Anyway, we went and saw the puppies. There he was with his siblings. He was the bigger of the two remaining males, but lighter. It didn't matter. I fell in love at first sight. After playing with him and loving on him for a bit, we made our down payment and left.

Time wouldn't go fast enough, but finally it was time to go pick him up in mid-October. We picked AW up early from school and made our way to our bundle of fuzz. We let AW pick out his name. Charlie was ours.

We brought him home and immediately introduced him to Sandi and Minnie. Minnie, being the timid dog she is wouldn't go near him. She'd skirt the permieter of any area he was in just to get around him. Sandi fell in love probably just as fast as I did.

He has been such a joy to have around since the moment we brought him home. He's brought some spunk back into Sandi's elderly existence. Minnie and he have since bonded and play for what seems like hours on end. They're like the three best friends anyone could have.

Back when I was in nursing school we had done group projects on alternative medicine modalities. My group chose pet therapy as one of ours. I can say from firsthand experience having my animals around, especially Charlie, has helped me tremendously in my recovery. Not a day goes by where I don't give thanks and just know he was meant to be a part of our family. He rounds out the count to 3 dogs, 3 cats, an aquarium of fish and 1 bearded dragon!

flurries

Anyone that knows me knows I hate snow. I have for as long as I can remember. I'm not a winter person and abhor temperatures below 70 degrees F. I can handle the 60s, but not for long periods of time. Give me a warm, sunshiny day any and every day.

That all being said I have to say I'm beyond grateful that I'm mildly disabled during the winter than I would be if it were warm, Springtime in bloom and everyone was outside enjoying the golden rays of the sun. I can only imagine wheeling through the grass on my scooter or via my wheelchair how difficult it would be.

That's one thing for sure, I've gained a deeper perspective of what people with disabilities go through daily. I've worked with people with special needs, but as with many things in life you can't really grasp a concept until you truly grasp it.

This week we've been privy to our first real snow of the season. We got about an inch between Wednesday evening and yesterday and a light dusting today. Living in a cabin, in the trees, it's a whole new experience as you can look out any window and be mystified by the beauty if winter. I still don't like it. If it melted tomorrow I'd be beyond pleased.

AW was home on snow days yesterday and today, so it was nice to have him around. He's been pretty helpful, for the most part. Yesterday he shoveled the driveway. Way to go! We can be doubly thankful since it allowed the propane to be delivered further allowing the heater to kick back in.

I've texted LB nearly every day and he seems to be enjoying his first assignment. He is still in training. When not in training he spends his time hanging out with friends going and doing fun things, goes to the gym and he's been reading some Tom Clancy type books.

This week had been a flurry of activity. Being on the main level has proven to be more enjoyable. Sitting at the dining room table eating with the guys means even more than before. I haven't used the bedside commode since moving up, as the bathroom is pretty centrally located to wherever I might be.

I still get frustrated. Wearing the CAM boot can be bothersome. It's heavy and slips around on my foot. My right knee is still tender and, of course, it's the knee I use on the scooter. I get worn out pretty quickly even using the scooter, but I've slept better all week than I had been. I can't stand on my left foot for long periods because the PF flares up.

Above all, there's much I've taken for granted in my first 41 years. This experience is definitely going to be good for letting me stop to smell the roses.

incentive

Well, wait no more. We were supposed to hold off on replacing Magilla, but Big B found her replacement and got a pretty good deal. We didn't go for the Kia Sorento as previously suggested, but will be driving our third Chevy Equinox.

I'm not very eager to get back behind the wheel right now, but going ahead and purchasing a car will give me the incentive to do so, I suppose. It also affords my friend(s) the opportunity to not use their own vehicles when taking me to appointments and such.

My current ride is doing quite the good job of getting me around the second floor of our house..... Did she say "second floor"? Yep, you read it right.

I butt-scooted my way up to the main level of our house! Big B came home from work early on Monday, MLK Day, and gave me the "push" I needed and then proceeded to move all my belongings up from AW's room to LB's room. I never thought I'd spend this much time in either of my sons' rooms. It has greatly improved my outlook since I was going pretty stir-crazy down in the basement. The main level has all the huge windows allowing natural light in and the ability to look out and see the world. That and the fact that the kitchen being on the main level means I can do more for myself. I helped cook dinner last night and even made Rolo Stuffed Sugar Cookies thanks to Pinterest.

This morning I butt-scooted down to the basement to head out for today's appointment with the orthodontist and his chipper crew. I had to retell my story (twice) and endure one of the hygienists persistent squawking about popping wheelies in my wheelchair. After replacing my wires and plugging them in with all purple rubberbands we left and headed out, without popping any wheelies, to Petco and Panera for some lunch. I should be set when the discomfort sets in from getting new wires, thanks to already being on pain meds. I am taking them less frequently and this time I know it's ok, since it's not due to the post-surgical or accident injury pain. I can manage some aches and such with Tylenol. As long as I keep prgressively healing and feeling better, it's all good!

up late

I haven't been able to go to sleep before midnight for about a week now, even when I'm exhausted. The doc switched me from Percocet to Vicodin and the Vicodin does nothing to make me drowsy. Even the Flexeril doesn't help, as far as sleep is concerned, anymore.

In regards to pain control, I'm taking the meds more for the tailbone, plantar fasciitis in my left foot and pulled muscle pain in my right shoulder. The ankle has twinges, stabs, and spasms every once in a while. Sometimes the CAM boot gets uncomfortable and rubs my leg or squeezes my foot the wrong way.

I found some stories online via about.com sports medicine page of others who've had talus fracture and repair. It seems most frequently it's due to horseback riding, snowboarding and jumping. The recoveries were varied as far as personal experience goes. A common trend lies with boredom or cabin fever. I'll attest to the cabin fever causing the doldrums.

It's hard to get comfortable with the tailbone pain. Even sitting in the recliners can be miserable. I'm hoping once I'm getting out more to physical therapy that it'll alleviate the pain in my ass.

Today I've been hungrier than I have been. I keep craving different things, like cinnamon rolls, cookies and yeah, mainly sweet stuff. Heck, the celery with peanut butter just pictured on TV during a commercial looked amazingly yummy. The last thing I want to do is gain weight.

One piece of advice I have is to get in shape. I know it's tougher being that I'm overweight and way out of shape. Recovery from injuries HAS to be easier when your in shape.

On that note, rest is necessary as well so I'm going to attempt sleep.

my new wheels

I've pretty much decided on the Kia Sorento
as my replacement for Magilla, for when I get back behind the wheel on the open road.

As for now, I'm speeding along via my newest ride, the Drive Steerable Knee Walker aka my "scooter". It's awesome because I can get around without getting as exhausted as I do with the regular walker. I haven't taken it out in public yet, since it still requires a lot of energy. As days go on, I'm stronger, and the ribs are more healed than not, I imagine I'll have way more energy and can endure using my scooter out and about.

baby steps

I attempted going up the stairs today and made it to the 5th one but my tailbone was in too much pain to go further. I haven't been upstairs in over three weeks, haven't slept in my own bed, next to my husband, nor have I showered in my own shower. As frustrated as I get, as many tears I may shed, I'm lucky to be able to look forward to it all and to feel everything from now til then and after.