weathering the storm

We've all heard of thyroid storm on some level or another. It basically takes hyperthyroidism to a heightened level. Well, I'm wondering if there isn't something similar to it, say like ovarian storm? Seriously! If this is what menopause is like than please, just shoot me now!

I go back for a follow-up to my pcp this week and originally the plan was to take me off the birth control pill. She was then going to shall we say, administer (I could say "insert" but I wouldn't want to wig anybody out or anything-haha) the Mirena for an alternate method of contraceptive. I had originally gone on a generic form of Seasonale in an effort to reduce the number of migraines I was getting. Theoretically if you're taking a pill where you only have a period once every three months you should be having eight less migraines a year. Yeah, I wish! These pills are non-formulary for Tricare and therefore we are paying non-formulary cost. In comparison to other insurances I'm sure the $22 I'm paying per pack, so $66 four times a year, is nothing, unless you consider the usual maximum we pay for prescriptions is $9. If it's not working for me why pay extra for nothing?

Next we have the mood swings. I might as well be bipolar. In talking to a friend recently I realized she has gone through this same issue. Her OBGYN put her on an estrogen equivalent. I don't know if that's what I need. What I do know is that it's probably time I ask my FNP for a referral to an OBGYN. It's time to do something about these migraines and my radical emotions. It could be a matter of going off the generic, and going for the real thing. Going off the pill all-together is probably one of the worst things I could do. Prison would probably be part of my future.

I know my mom went through menopause early, but come on.... at 38??? Interestingly enough, I was looking at a website recently about perimenopause and I have most of the symptoms except for heart palpitations.

too much time on my hands

Honestly, I've done nothing much other than squander away my Spring Break. Sure I've done a little shopping, but as far as being a good little nursing student goes the phrase "not so much" comes to mind. Not so much studying has been done, not so much reading has been done, and all those drug cards (thirteen) I have to do? Not so much. I really do think I do so much better under pressure, like as in when I'm on my schedule. All this free time with not much to do (there's actually tons I could be doing...)during the day to fill it up has left me feeling really unmotivated.

The house (miniscule) and gardens (none) have seen little effort from me as well. It doesn't help that it's been doom-gloomy and chilly. We had some sunshine yesterday, and the big globe of warmth in the sky showed itself for a small while this morning. Now? Just cloudy. I did do some organizing and spring-cleaningish kind of cleaning in my kitchen yesterday. We've been keeping our breads in a basket, uncovered on our counter tops. Part of the incentive to my cleaning was to reorganize how our breads are kept, along with the surrounding area. Why? Because the cat, DC, jumps up on the counter and steals it all. You name it, he gets it, Vienna rolls, bought fresh from Wegman's, loaves of bread, and bagels even. They're always in their plastic bags but he shreds into them with his little feline teeth and then nibbles away!














My solution? Considering we don't have a large pantry, I have to come up with some creative, yet unconventional solutions in my decore and home-organization. After getting the cabinets and such cleaned out that I wanted to, I headed off to shop for my solution for the breads, and also a storage container for our disposable plates, bowls, forks, etc. All that stuff has been scattered here and there, and now it's neat and tidy tucked away in a storage container.This is a much better way for us to keep our breads away from DC's filthy paws. You don't know how many times we've come downstairs to find bags of various breads scattered across the kitchen and dining room floors. Luckily we have our two CanineHoovers to help clean up the crumbs! Not to mention, it's much neater looking.

I found our new bread basket at HomeGoods. The little, white wire shelf needs to be secured into the basket and it will be perfect!

Ahh well, I guess I better go do something, some studying...something to be the good little nursing student...

the dark side

After an hour and a half at the beauty salon AW finally had what he wanted, a full head of black hair. They did take it down a couple of notches from jet black to not-so-black....but it's still black. I'm having trouble getting used to it. I'm thinking I really liked his blond hair so much better, not to mention he needs a dye job on the brows and lashes. I figure when a visit to the salon tops out at $199 and some change it's time to call it a day! That was for the cut, color, shampoo and conditioner, and serum so when I flat iron it for him his hair doesn't look flat but only in texture, not color. Heat strips color. Oh bother.

spring anyone?

Here it is my Spring Break and it's cold, dreary and wet outside. It's just as well since I should be inside reading and studying and working on my drug cards anyway. But phooey on Mother Nature! She needs to make up her mind. Cold, hot, rainy, sunny, one day-you blink and it's a differnet climate! I do need to head out in a bit and mail off my package for one of my externships. It came together quite nicely after spending a couple of hours getting everything together on Saturday.

Well I can hardly contain my excitement any longer. I did it. I finally got what I've been wanting for what seems like eons. My Blackberry. Smiles, grins....I thanked the guy at the AT&T store when we left yesterday, and called him Santa Claus. That's how it felt, like Christmas morning. The boys got new phones also. Big B chose not to at this point. He's not into all the gadgetry or anything and is happy with his Samsung. We all had the same phones at one point, up until I broke LB's. Nevermind why or how. I did replace it with a GoPhone, and he's been itching ever since to upgrade and get back to having a camera and multimedia capabilities. The boys couldn't have made it any easier either. Of course I knew what I wanted walking in to the place, since I've not only given my phone/pda some thought, but I'd also stopped by the store last week. Since Big B is the primary person on the account he had to go, and the boys wanted to finally get their new phones. They had them picked out in less than fifteen minutes, if it was even ten! They both chose the Pantech Matrix, one in blue and one in black. Betcha can't guess who got the black one? Yep, AW and all his emo-ness. Yesterday evening was spent playing with our new phones, adding ringtones, and just revelling in the novelty.


Speaking of "emo-ness", I've pretty much decided to let AW get what he wants. One of the best pieces of advice I've received as parent is to pick my battles. AW has been dying to dye his hair black. When he first asked I laughed and said "Not only no, but hell no!" I informed him that there are tons of people out there who try to attain the beautiful blond hair that he grows out of his head naturally. As time has worn on I've come to realize it is his hair and although there are boundaries we will not cross while the boys are under ther age of 18, things that can be replaced, repaired, what have you, tend to be the battles that I choose not to fight to the death over. Tattoo requests, for instance, will be met with an emphatic NO, and there won't be any budging. He has pretty much come around to not dying his whole head of hair black, but maybe some chunks of it, but he also wants purple chunks. (???) One thing is for sure, when your kids make requests like this it's high time to write up behavior contracts. If you are allowed to have your hair dyed...you will do such and such... The best part about this is the haircut! He wants to get his haircut!! He'll be subjected to having pictures taken along this whole process. You know, I'd never have thought I'd have a son that was more into his hair than I am into mine! To be continued...

surgiversary

Take the patient who is post-operative gastric bypass, Amelia. Normally, at the hospital where she had surgery, patients stabilize in the surgery suite and then are transferred to their respective room. Because of patient overflow Amelia had to wait in the surgical suite for six hours prior to being transferred. When the technician came to transfer her, he brought what turned out to be a broken bed. He reassured her that the matter would be resolved upon admission to the unit where she would convalesce. Upon arrival the technician gave report to the admitting nurse, and included the fact about the bed being broken. The nurse reassured Amelia that she would have her in a working bed in no time.

The problem here was the head of the bed could not be raised. Amelia had just undergone abdominal surgery and lying in supine position is uncomfortable to a patient with surgical wounds in her abdomen. Initially, Amelia was appeased by the nurse’s reassurance, but as the hours passed by she, in her discomfort, kept asking anyone who came into her room when she would be given a new bed.

At the time of her surgery Amelia weighed in at 270 pounds. She was a very large woman, and that is what the nurses and technicians saw. No one wanted to be the one to lift her onto a new bed. She had even overheard one of the nurse aids tell another aid that she was not going to be the one to lift Amelia.

It was upon shift change, when her new nurse came in to introduce herself that Amelia was finally comforted. It was as if she had been placed on a whole different unit or in a new hospital. The outgoing nursing personnel had treated her with little concern for her comfort or dignity, while she rested uncomfortably in a broken bed. They did not respect her as a person. Their concern was for their own welfare. In particular, the aid that refused to move Amelia must place higher priority on values other than altruism and human dignity. Ironically, when she was finally given a new bed, after eleven hours of waiting, Amelia independently maneuvered herself out of the broken bed and into the bed she rested in comfortably for the remainder of her stay. She was not bedridden necessitating any assistance other than being observed for weakness or syncope.

The above excerpt is from a paper I wrote last semester from the assignment defining values and/or ethical principles paramount to the profession of nursing. Altruism, human dignity and respect are some of the values and/or ethical principles I find integral to nursing as a profession. Over the years I've often found that a person who is really good at their job started out subordinate to what they've become. Take for instance the doctor who was once a nurse, or in the military, the officer who was once enlisted, or even the CEO who once worked in the mailroom. I analogize this to what I can imagine it sometimes takes to be a good nurse is to remember how it feels to be the patient. Sometimes it's just working with a sympathetic/empathetic frame of mind.

You might have figured out by now that I fictionalized my paper, that Amelia is in fact, me. Yes, three years ago I had gastric bypass surgery. Other than switching the name the rest of what you've read above is very much non-fiction, very true to life. You would be horrified to learn where I had my surgery after reading about my surgery considering I had it done at a major university in the Washington, DC area.

I don't share that I had surgery with many people anymore, although I guess now it's out there in the wide open world of the 'net! I wasn't one of the ones who dropped to goal or even near it within six months, or a year. In fact I still have a good 40 lbs. to go to get to my "ideal" weight. I did lose 80 lbs. that first year and a few since. I've battled internally and emotionally with this and have finally come around to the fact that the surgery did give me back a sense of confidence that had been washed away. I take full responsibility for not losing more. I haven't exercised religiously, but did maintain a moderate level of activity. That's what needs to happen, a regular exercise routine, especially considering the loss of tone/excess skin issues. I'm in touch with that fact, but also the reality that if I'm going to do it it is going to have to >fit in< somewhere-no more excuses!

All that being said the main point in me posting this today was my feelings on me becoming a good nurse. The following is another excerpt from the paper on "Amelia."

People are multi-faceted. People are also quick to judge. In nursing it is imperative to use critical thinking, and to not pass judgment on other people. Every person deserves to be treated equally and with dignity. Each person should be regarded holistically, whether they are clients, or other health care personnel. One should always remember that other person is someone’s father, mother, brother, sister, etc., and how one would want their own family members treated.

March 25th I begin my clinical rotation and know there will be good times as well as some rough times. There may even be times when I want to give up. There will be others reassuring me this is what I'm meant to do. Whenever I become frustrated I just hope to remember Amelia.

the simple things

Both boys ended up crashing over at friends' houses last night, which left me to my own devices today. I had my game plan laid out for my retail therapy, and off I went.

The first stop was Wegman's grocery store. I picked up some rolls and cole slaw fixin's to round off the meal of comfort food I have planned for this evening. On the menu is roast beef I had in the crock-pot all day yesterday. It was intended to be consumed for dinner, but with all the running around our family did, we weren't able to sit down for a meal together, at all yesterday. Meanwhile the roast roasted away all day! When I went to take it out of the crock-pot to package it up it fell apart, that's how tender and juicy it was! Tonight I'm warming it up with some BBQ sauce and serving it on the rolls fresh from Wegman's bakery.

Next stop was Ross. I'm not one to spend tons of money on myself, so I'll opt to buy my clothing at discount stores. I found myself a new purse--love it! Bought a few simple knit tops, as I'm all about comfort and basic wash and wear, most of the time. My biggest purchase was a new dress. It wasn't that expensive though, but it was a necessary purchase. The high school booster club is putting on a dance at the end of the month, to raise money for the school's sports programs. Big B and I are attending thanks to our local American Legion, where he is a member and I am supposed to become a member. The American Legion supports the schools. One of the booster club members told me that it's not a formal event by any means, some people dress casual. But heck! I'm calling it a date and I'm wearing a dress! It's simple, nothing formal, or even semi-formal, by far....but a dress saves me from putting together a pants outfit.

From Ross I went, grabbed a bite to eat, and received a call from one of my classmates. She told me the pharm grades had been posted. Here I am stranded about 25 minutes from home! Oh well, trudge on with therapy! The original reason I set out was to go to DSW as I'd found two pairs of sandals online that I liked, and was hoping to find them in the store. I'm so glad that the first part of the day was successful otherwise I'd have been irritated! Neither pair was in the store, oh well-will just have to order them!

What goes up, (me going north to shop) must come down (me coming home, going south). It was a nice relaxing trip out to the retail world. Aside from not finding my shoes at DSW, the rest of the time was splendid indeed!

Almost forgot to mention, I got an A in pharmacology!!! 91 on the final.

sisterhood

The rules for accepting the award are as follows:
Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award.

1. Robin. One of my oldest blogfriends only because she's one of my oldest friends. We went to high school together, and were able to reconnect via the 'net. Robin is the editor extraordinaire of Our Big Earth where you'll find gems of the Comox Valley Of Vancouver BC, Canada, that extend to our big Earth!

2. Lorie. I met my dear friend Lorie before moving to VA. We came across one another on a website for military wives and wouldn't you know it we had so much in common it was a friendship that was meant to be! She's a nurse, and one of my inspirations for deciding to get back on the path to follow my dream of becoming a nurse. She's also a talented cook and dishes up some great recipes on her blog!

3. Christy. When I first decided to start blogging about my nursing school experience it seemed like a good idea to search out other student nurses. I came across Christy's blog. She had just finished school the year before. After reading her blog for a bit she had me laughing so hard when she wrote about going to take her NCLEX I just had to get to know her! I also admire her for her strength as a mother and I know she's developed into an exceptional nurse!

4. Amanda. If a name can be synonymous with strength, or sheer will, it would be Amanda, maybe it even is. This young lady is a survivor. She's surviving these past few weeks from grief. I came across her blog by way of another blog and I consider myself fortunate for having done so. Amanda is a truly inspirational person.

5. At Your Cervix. The name says it all, does it not? Being that I'm drawn to labor and delivery and such I was, of course, drawn to this blog, and have been hooked since! AYC is forging her way through midwifery school. She shares her stories from school, as well as her work in L&D.

6. Andrea. Love this girl! I once told her that if I had a daughter I'd want her to be like her! Need I say more?

7. Christine. Another nursing student like myself, just trying to make the grade. She delivers tales of her journey, and is always willing to lend support! All that and she's taken on a new family member! I also dig her sense of humor!

8. Jen. Jen incorporates tales of her nursing school days as well as her days spent as a volunteer, and the wife of an electrician/volunteer firefighter. Her blog is endearing and well-read. She's also created a blog especially for nursing students.

9. Heather. This woman is a riot! Too bad she lives across the US or we'd have to hang out and have a blast of a good time! We'll just have to settle for the blogsphere! She's supportive, strong and has tenacity that many lack.

10. Prisca. Here you'll find another one of my L&D heroes. This woman is without a doubt a modern day saint. Read her blog and you'll find out why! She's been a nurse for little over a year, but has had experiences that many have never had in a lifetime of nursing.

11. Undergrad RN. Yet another great place for a great account of nursing school rantings and all the joys that we as student nurses encounter. These accounts are from my Canadaian friend, and it's interesting to "hear" things from the Canadian perspective. You'll absolutely love this witty blog!

12. Becky. A woman after my own heart. I've often said there ought to be an association for mom's of only sons. Becky shares stories of her life, including some of her son who has been diagnosed with ADHD, all the while maintaining a GFCF (gluten free-casein free) household. She posts many scrumptious recipes on her blog! Becky is also one of my oldest, from back in the good ole days of high school, friends!

13. RN2BE. I have a friend in New Zealand. I'll never forget when she contacted me either! How fun is this! It's been great to read her stories, since she's also a student nurse! It's been great to learn the cultural differences.

14. Tiffany. Last, but certainly not least! This fine young lady nominated moi for this delightful award! If you've never visited Tiffany you're in for a treat. She is such a sweet girl, and yes, you guessed it....she's one of my nursing student sisters. Please stop by, offer her support, after all we all need it from time to time! She's also a newlywed. Her husband is in the Navy and is deployed. Cheers to the military wife!

oh what a feeling!

Pharmacology final is over!

We had 40 multiple choice questions on interactions, pharmacodynamics, pharmacokinetics, geriatrics, peds, drug approval...you know, the basics. The last half of the exam consisted of the calculations. You can bet I wasn't the only one who flipped straight for the back and started working like a mad woman to finish those problems/challenges. One of the teachers that I worked with at the high school, a math teacher in particular has a motto, "There are no problems, only challenges". It makes sense!

What a good feeling it is to have that weight lifted off my shoulders!

Now we just have to play the waiting game. Our instructor told us she would have the grades posted tomorrow morning if not tonight.

I'm going to keep myself busy by heading over to the high school for the JV baseball game. Normally I wouldn't have much of an interest in this but a friend of mine, with whom I went to high school in Colorado, lives in an adjacent county and her son's HS is playing my son's HS. She and I don't see each other very often with both of us having busy lives, but since I am officially on Spring Break I'm going to take a bit of a breather from my norm and go hang out with her! Besides I'll know plenty of other moms (parents) that will be there too!

Tomorrow I have my big day of retail therapy planned, but I'd forgotten that the kids have the day off, so I'm not sure how that's going to work out. I may end up with a tag-along, but maybe not. LB has plans to stay the night with some of his Varsity buds. They've really taken him under their wings. No joke. Their mascot's the Eagles, and it looks just like the Philadelphia Eagles. He's just like their little eaglet I guess. They have practice in the later part of the morning anyway. AW will be my tag-along if he doesn't come up with some other scheme before this evening is over.

For clinicals my classmates and I had our orientation yesterday and I met my patient. It's occured to me that because I am not anonymous and I am only caring for one patient I am going to have to be extra super-duper Hipaa vigilant and creative with my stories. I will say for now I am looking forward to the overall experience. I'm not intimidated by the care I'll be giving, but I will be sufficiently challenged.

As far as the question I posed yesterday about people's thoughts on the statement "If you are meant to be a nurse you will do fine",this was a closing statement in an email from my husband. We had been having a discussion (heated, aggravated, angered, irritated...) and my last statement had been something to the effect of "...and I'm supposed to take care of someone else's family member???" I said this because I have been frustrated because, well let's just put it this way: in life we have peaks and troughs (yeah, a little too much pharmacology as of late), and my family has been going through what seems like more troughs than peaks lately, and as the mom/wife/caregiver I have been feeling strain to the enth degree....all that with school on top. When I read that statement on his email it struck me funny. I would have expected something more to the effect of "Oh, honey! You are going to be a wonderful nurse! blah, blah, blah" Now in reality the former statement is more like my husband, and especially so when you consider the context with which it was made.

Live, love, and learn.

something to ponder

If you are meant to be a nurse you will do fine.

If someone said this to you, what would you think? Really. I want everyone and all to share any thoughts you might have on this statement.

indications for retail therapy

I should really be studying for Wednesday's pharm final, but it's been a few days since I've posted so here I sit typing away to my heart's desire. This past weekend was spent studying and it was fruitful to say the least.

Let me back up for a bit though. Last year I had to take basically a full year of math. First it was Introductory Algebra, since I placed that low on the university (where I recently graduated with my B.S. in psyc) placement exam. It wasn't good enough that I had taken remedial-get-your-high-school-equivalency-credit when I first returned to college in 1999. Nope, not for this brain--too much time had passed. Then after Intro I had to take Intermediate Algebra. I actually went back to the U after finishing Intro and attempted the placement exam again in hopes of placing into College Algebra. WRONG! I had yet another grueling semester of algebra to look forward to, fortunately I had one of the best professors ever. Mary D was one of the most positive and inspiring people I've ever learned from...ever. Mind you, since we've been back to the states, up until I started my nursing classes, so from 2005 until 2008 (in finishing my psych degree) all my classes were online and a deadbeat Prof can make or break a class! Finally last spring I was able to take College Algebra, which I finished with an A, and in the summer I took Statistics for Psych (that Prof left a lot to be desired in a prof), but I believe I came away with an A or a B in that class so what the heck, who gives.

Anyway. What's with all the mathematical babble? I obviously somewhere in all those semesters of algebra learned about ratio and proportion. For the life of me I could not figure it out the other day when one of my classmates tried showing me how to do it in relation to a heparin drip problem. I basically (iffy, to say the least) got it. I sat down with my textbook, which was no help. It just further confused me. I have the book, Math for Nurses and found my lightbulb moment contained within. Seriously. It's as if the lights all over the country went out...and came back on all at once. Originally our professor had shown us a different formula for heparin drips, that was just little bit more labor intensive, and well once my classmate had pointed out the ole ratio:prop method, I had to give it, and him, well...props! Now that I am hip to the whole scheme of things, I'm cool!

Friday, we didn't do anything over-the-top for LB's birthday, even if it was his 16th. All he wanted to do was go skating. This was much to my displeasure even if it was the much less expensive option in comparison to what we (I) had originally planned, which was taking him and some of his friends out to dinner, restaurant of his choice, of course. Whatever. I will give him tons of credit for what did happen in the later part of the night. He and his one friend made an extremely wise choice. He intended on having three friends stay over, only two ended up staying through the whole night. To make a long story short, and what's turning out to be a novel, even shorter, two of the boys decided to sneak out with a fifth boy who had come to pick them up, unlicensed, in his own parents' car. They were out past curfew and got busted. One of the two who snuck out, and also lives across the street ended up at home, the other ended up back in our house. Kudos to my son and the other kid who chose to stay behind. Good on them!

Saturday was the first varsity "game", in all actuality it was a scrimmage. Our team lost. LB played the last two innings. He's the only sophomore, so it's what we expected. We hope for him to play more as the season goes on. One of his previous coaches gave him a glowing compliment on how he has improved over the time this coach has known him. Tomorrow I will take a short break from the studying as we have "Meet the Coaches" night for all the spring sports at the high school. We'll get to meet all the coaches that are working with LB. We've only really met one of them. We'll also do all the parenty (yes, I meant "parenty") kind of stuff like assign meals and such, whatever that means.

It's also a big day tomorrow because it's our orientation for our clinical placement at the long term care facility. I'll be ironing my uniform tonight (sorry, you can take the girl out of the military, but not the military out of the girl-besides it's that stiff-ass white scrub material crap). I have my notebook, 4x6 cards to write up my drug cards, because we have to write them-grr- and all my other little supplies, not that we really need anything tomorrow other than our notebook and pen, oh and our badge. I'm the nerd who's had her's in her purse since, oh, about day 15, first semester.

Wednesday's the big Pharm test...might've mentioned that a time or a hundred...and ten.

Thursday I am partaking in some much needed retail therapy. I want some new shoes of the sandal variety, and some new tops, and maybe some new capris also. Oh, and maybe a new purse too! Besides school I've been putting up with a lot as far as dealing with living in a house full of b-o-y-s-es, and I deserve some mommy/girl time!!!