a hit with the proverbial monkey wrench

So much for the great mood I was in this morning!

This morning as I'm hurriedly walking into the building where my classes are held I happen to see a lady whom I recognize as one of the previous instructors, who had resigned just before classes started this August. Low and behold, she's walking into my classroom.

I started a post a while back, and never posted it...now's the time, because a lot of what I said is now coming to a head:

If you're following my blog, a lot of what is about to be said is repetitive, (such as here, KLS, Student Nurse: dilemma, or here, KLS, Student Nurse: to be or not to be, but I'm hoping to pick the brains of newer readers, as well as anyone else who makes it through this whole thing.

I intend to lay it all out, even if it's just for me to see it all in black and white. Please bare with me.

First and foremost, let me say I have wanted to become a nurse for nearly ten years. A wrench was thrown into my first attempt at nursing school, back in 2000, when we received orders to go overseas.

At the point when we had settled into our new home in Italy I started taking classes toward a B.S. in Psych, that was the fall of '01. It was then my intention of either articulating that degree into a possible career in education, which for me was the next bext thing, or nursing, if I so chose to swing back that way.

After arriving back in the states I applied for the local public schools and was finally hired as an instructional assistant, for the local high school special ed department, for the '06-'07 school year. By this itme I was pretty much leaning toward teaching.

Fast forward to '07-'08, during which I decided to go back to my first career aspiration-nursing.

Many factors came into play, a major one being that it's always been an itch that couldn't be scratched away. I applied in February, and received my acceptance letter in May.

September 9th we were notified by our dean, during lecture (Our dean is teaching our Nur100-Intro to Nsg class. There was a huge instructor turn-over right before classes started), that our program is not accredited. This has caused me a lot of stress since then. I've researched other local programs and toyed with the idea of transferring.

Then there is the idea that if I'm going to do that why not just transfer into one of the BSN programs. I have a leg up because I will be able to transfer in as a junior, or even into an accelerated program.

Because I have been going to school since 1999, when I first started in a pre-nursing program, I am burning out at the speed of light. Part of me just wants to be lazy. I could be done with school in December!! Done, finito...finished, at least for a little bit.

Or...I could take the next year off. Once you're in the program you have a total of four years to complete, so I could take a break and start up again. I could even work during that time.

Which leads me to one of my other issues. I've mentioned before, there are a lot of things I want to do. There are home improvements to be made...a lot. We are not going to remain in this house forever, and so we'll eventually need to sell. Improvements need to be made prior to putting the house on the market.

Or...just stay where I'm at, what's two years? I would graduate in May '10, and then be able to get a great job...or would I?

Back to today...

I walk into the classroom after this instructor, only to notice the normal instructor is not present.

I arrive at my desk, and one of my classmates tells me one of the new instructors (one of the ones who just started prior to classes beginning this semester), had walked out, hence the other instructor's presence. Walked out!? Yeah, as in quit...or was she fired? Who really knows!

Can we have a big ole WTF!?

Just last week I had resigned myself to stay in this program, because after all, I am in this program...not to mention they are accepting credits that another school might not.

So this newer instructor who just left, yeah, well, she was the one I really, truly thought was going to be the one to turn our program around. We were in the VA State Board of Nursing's report, from this July, as one of the schools with a less than 80%pass rate!

Who needs the stress of a program that isn't accredited, there is no guarantee of passing the NCLEX (not that there ever is, but you have a better chance with some schools), and now who's to say the old instructor is here to stay for the long haul? Or is she just here as a temporary fix? And if that's the case were going to have to deal with another new instructor come Spring semester who needs to get his or her act together.

What's a student nurse to do?

oops, I'm doing it again...

I've battled with the idea of whether or not nursing is right for me. Funny thing is I really can't see myself doing anything else. Earlier this morning I was set off by another blog. I'm not going to link to it because I would feel horrible if she thought she was the cause of my indecision and frustration. She's not, it has been ongoing since I started this semester. Here's a link to one of my previous whine sessions: KLS, Student Nurse: to be or not to be

I was looking at this blog, originally because she is also a SN, and I had never come across hers before. What caught my attention, and got me thinking is her love of home decorating. We have this in common.

There is so much I want. I don't even want to go that in-depth right now...not enough time. But it all has to do with me really just wanting to be able to work right now and bring home a paycheck so I can replace the flooring in my kitchen, or carpet upstairs.

I don't have the time for keeping up the house even as little as I did before. I am grateful to have a husband that is a bit OCD in that area.

Who has the time to even look at a decorating magazine, let alone redecorate your teenager's room, while in nursing school? I sure make time to blog. I think insanity would have finally taken me into her clutching claws long ago if it weren't for my blogging.

I have been going to school off and on, more on than off, for nearly ten years now! In less than 38 days I will take my final final exam with UMUC, and December 30th will "graduate". I'll walk at commencement in May. The point is why am I doing this? Why am I going to school beyond December? I might even benefit from taking some time off. I could find a job somewhere...

Then there's the $500 I still have in scholarship money to be used for Spring semester. I would be inclined to take the Nutrition class that I still lack, as well as A&P II that I'm probably going ot have to take. That doesn't make any sense.

I'm not making any sense, and if you've come this far than thank you.

Well I have to at least finish this semester out, so it's onward with the reading and assignments...

I know this is somewhat insipid. There are so many more important things in life, but it is a matter of happiness.

hark! a wise decision

In the past my husband and I have been compulsive buyers. As we've aged the compulsiveness has slowed down.

Case in point, just this afternoon we made the wise choice to not buy a third car-yet. It's not necessary at this point. Our 15 year old has several months until he can legally drive on his own, so he is not in need of a car any time soon. I don't even think he really needs a car as soon as he turns 16 anyway. Not only do we add another car payment, but also the exhorbitant amount of money that we look forward (said with sarcasm) to paying for insuring a young male driver under the age of 25...way under the age of 25!

We should probably invest in this:


No really, he's actually done very well. My biggest complaint is his need to say "I know" whenever I try to tell him anything.

He is 15...

feeling testy

Five weeks into nursing school and we've had our first tests. Yes, I said, well, typed test"s". We had one in our NUR100, Intro class, and one in our NUR105, Skills lecture class. It was awesome though in the intro class, because after we completed our tests individually she had us split up into groups and retake the test as a group! Depending on how well our group did we will receive extra credit! I think I did ok, hoping for a B. As for the skills test. It went ok-they were both way more tolerable than I thought they were going to be-and I'm hoping for a B on it as well. Now we just have to wait for the grades.

Tomorrow is the skills test, for health assessment. I'm not too worried about it since we get to use note cards.

I've really been doubting my choice to become a nurse lately. I don't know if it's me doubting my abilities or if it's for real just not the right choice for me. I'm very intimidated. I am my own worst enemy and have always doubted my abilities. This is something I've been wanting for about ten years now.

If you think about it, it is pretty ironic. Back when I separated from the Air Force, after three years as a medic I swore I would never step foot into a hospital, other than as a patient, ever again. But as time went on it became apparent to me that the medical field is where I'm supposed to be.

How do you know if something is your calling? Is it when you have a lingering desire, or ambition to do something?

dilemma

I'm pasting an email I sent recently concerning my dilemma:

I thought I'd email you concerning something that is bothering me. As you know I'm enrolled with LFCC in the nursing program. Last week we were informed that LFCC's nursing program is not accredited. The dean reassured us that there is only one VA school, that being VCU, that it will be a problem when trying to go for our RN-BSN. No problems there, never intended on attending VCU. My problem is when looking at the local hospital job site it says "graduate of an accredited school of nursing". Do they hire LFCC graduate nurses, or not?

Expounding upon this I have gone to look at GM University's, Accelerated, Second Degree BSN Pathway, on their website, and come to find out there are only a couple of prerequisite courses I need to be admitted into their program. The information states those courses are to be completed by the end of the spring semester for which you are applying for fall admission that same year. I am finishing up my current baccalaureate degree this semester, and will graduate in December. So I could apply for that pathway, finish up the prereqs in the spring, transfer to their program and still graduate summer 2010 (the currently planned graduation date.) My dilemma? Why trudge through a non-accredited program when I could end up with a BSN in the same time period?

Financially speaking LFCC is the better choice; however, if I do go on to get my RN-BSN I would still end up at a school with higher tuition, and I would end up taking classes beyond 2010. All along I've said to myself I was fine with the ADN, but I think my subconscious ambition wants more. Another con to transferring would be driving distance. What campus do they teach nursing courses at anyway?

Bottom line should I really worry about this whole accreditation thing? What is your honest opinion regarding nursing education/professionalization?

There you have it. I'm also in a state of uncertainty as to whether or not I actually want to be a nurse. Is it just normal nervousness? Or am I really questioning what I want to be when I grow up? For years now I've wanted to be a nurse. I'm very intimidated about the job itself. I keep going back to the diversity nursing offers.

Sometimes it would be nice to be three years old again and be told what to do!