messed up

that's what my blog is right now...a mess. Under construction!!!

feeling testy

Five weeks into nursing school and we've had our first tests. Yes, I said, well, typed test"s". We had one in our NUR100, Intro class, and one in our NUR105, Skills lecture class. It was awesome though in the intro class, because after we completed our tests individually she had us split up into groups and retake the test as a group! Depending on how well our group did we will receive extra credit! I think I did ok, hoping for a B. As for the skills test. It went ok-they were both way more tolerable than I thought they were going to be-and I'm hoping for a B on it as well. Now we just have to wait for the grades.

Tomorrow is the skills test, for health assessment. I'm not too worried about it since we get to use note cards.

I've really been doubting my choice to become a nurse lately. I don't know if it's me doubting my abilities or if it's for real just not the right choice for me. I'm very intimidated. I am my own worst enemy and have always doubted my abilities. This is something I've been wanting for about ten years now.

If you think about it, it is pretty ironic. Back when I separated from the Air Force, after three years as a medic I swore I would never step foot into a hospital, other than as a patient, ever again. But as time went on it became apparent to me that the medical field is where I'm supposed to be.

How do you know if something is your calling? Is it when you have a lingering desire, or ambition to do something?

sweet sixteen

No, no one is turning sixteen today...except my marriage. Yep, 16 years ago Brian and tied the know! He has something planned for this evening, and it's a surprise. All I know is I don't have to get dressed up, just casual, and that I have to be ready to leave by 3. Meanwhile, I'm typing this and need to go study! Big tests next week!

dilemma

I'm pasting an email I sent recently concerning my dilemma:

I thought I'd email you concerning something that is bothering me. As you know I'm enrolled with LFCC in the nursing program. Last week we were informed that LFCC's nursing program is not accredited. The dean reassured us that there is only one VA school, that being VCU, that it will be a problem when trying to go for our RN-BSN. No problems there, never intended on attending VCU. My problem is when looking at the local hospital job site it says "graduate of an accredited school of nursing". Do they hire LFCC graduate nurses, or not?

Expounding upon this I have gone to look at GM University's, Accelerated, Second Degree BSN Pathway, on their website, and come to find out there are only a couple of prerequisite courses I need to be admitted into their program. The information states those courses are to be completed by the end of the spring semester for which you are applying for fall admission that same year. I am finishing up my current baccalaureate degree this semester, and will graduate in December. So I could apply for that pathway, finish up the prereqs in the spring, transfer to their program and still graduate summer 2010 (the currently planned graduation date.) My dilemma? Why trudge through a non-accredited program when I could end up with a BSN in the same time period?

Financially speaking LFCC is the better choice; however, if I do go on to get my RN-BSN I would still end up at a school with higher tuition, and I would end up taking classes beyond 2010. All along I've said to myself I was fine with the ADN, but I think my subconscious ambition wants more. Another con to transferring would be driving distance. What campus do they teach nursing courses at anyway?

Bottom line should I really worry about this whole accreditation thing? What is your honest opinion regarding nursing education/professionalization?

There you have it. I'm also in a state of uncertainty as to whether or not I actually want to be a nurse. Is it just normal nervousness? Or am I really questioning what I want to be when I grow up? For years now I've wanted to be a nurse. I'm very intimidated about the job itself. I keep going back to the diversity nursing offers.

Sometimes it would be nice to be three years old again and be told what to do!

feeling ninety

There's definitely something to be said for those of us who are older than most nursing students. I am 37. In my class of twenty there are about 6 of us who are 35 and up.

For the past few days I've been writing out index cards for my health assessment skills lab, and for my intro class. First test, September 23rd! Wish me luck or be hexed.

So, back to the cards. My hands hurt! Like, really hurt! Is it arthritis? How will I make it through 2 years of writing index cards along with care plans, chart notes, etc.? Oh well, back to the cards...

watch out world

Another teenager (my 15 year old) has received his learner's permit and is now legal to drive...well, with a responsible adult in the passenger seat! I ended up with a migraine headache last night after we returned home from the momentous occasion of passing the test, receiving the permit, and driving home. I didn't have any gray hairs before yesterday...sure to have one or twenty growing in soon!

He's actually doing very well behind the wheel. He may be a little too sure of himself, but other than that he's impressing his father and I with his skill. So now we have until he turns 16 and 3 months, in June, until he gets his regular license...

yesterday

Yesterday was my first skills test, and it was on vital signs. Even though I've taken a zillion VS in my previous medical careers I was still so very nervous. It's a good thing no one was home, before I left for school, as they would have suffered my wrath!

My partner and I were the last two to go for the day, and we rocked! I even gave the answer no one else had and that was where glass theremometers are usually used, if used at all, that being isolation.

We've also turned in our first assignment. Mine was on the book Life Support. I'm still reading it, but had read through enough of it to enable me to write my paper. We had to write on three qualities that make a good nurse, made evident from the characters in the book or movie one chose to read or watch. Of all the qualities that do make a good nurse I chose to write on compassion, patience, and empathy.


Next week, for skills, we move on to health assessment. It is supposedly one of the hardest skills at this level, and it's not even the in depth health assessment that we'll learn in second year! For Intro to NSNG we're still in history, law, ethics, etc.

I did drop the Orientation to the Health Professions class. As I thought more and more, and after talking with a classmate, I realize I probably don't need the class. My advisor will give me the final determination in the next week. Nonetheless, with these first semester nursing classes and my last class for my B.S., which is research based, I feel it's best to focus on the tougher coursework now. If I do have to take the orientation class it can always be accomplished during the summer '09 semester, when there are no nursing classes to take.

My family is succumbing to being my guinea pigs. I've listened to both the boys apical (over the heart) pulses. Tried to listen to the dogs'...with Labradors that's pretty much impossible! I was able to listen to DC's (my cat). He was probably the best behaved of all of them! Oh! And Irwin, my beardie-he let me try on him too! But the stethoscope is too large for his tiny little chest.

first week

The first two days of classes went very well, as good as could be expected.

I am already pretty overwhelmed with everything that needs to be accomplished, but will take it all step-by-step and day-by-day.

One of the first assignments for the Intro to Nursing class is to write a short paper on one of several pre-determined books, or films. MASH was one of the film choices, and I was very tempted to write my paper on it.

While in the library today, printing out gazillions of skills checklists, among a few other things, I decided to check out the book choices on reserve for us. I looked at a couple. There are some choices on World War II nursing, and being a WWII buff thought I might lean toward them.

Surprisingly, I found something else that peaked my curiosity, and seemed even more interesting. It's an account, by Suzanne Gordon of three nurses' work. A common theme is the nursing shortage and the undervalued state of nursing as a profession.

I've only gotten through the forward, and am in the preface and am already furher inspired, as well as intrigued.

We only have the books on loan for three days. Because it's a holiday weekend I lucked out and get an extra day. That's still not enough time, and I am positive I will enjoy this book to it's end so I just ordered it! Back to the book!

thought it would never get here...

...and now it is here...and I feel like throwing up! So I'm going to keep this short, as to not psych myself out even more!

This semester I will be taking two nursing classes, Intro to Nursing and Health (2 hours), and Nursing Skills (lecture [1 hour] and lab [6 hours]), and Orientation to Health Professions (1 hour). Seems like a light load? Maybe it is. Those who haven't had any schooling have other classes, general education classes, like College Composition and Anatomy & Physiology, to take. I've done most of that other stuff. Will take care of the gen ed classes I need down the line.

Along with the six credits I am taking for my nursing program, this semester, I am also taking my final class for my bachelor's degree. It's an online, 3 credit class, but is not going to be the easiest either. It's Research Methods in Psychology, a requirement for my major-psychology. I am taking it along with my first semester of nursing classes, for one because I want to get this degree finished and it is the last class I need to graduate. Another reason is I want it over so I may focus on what is most important to me...my nursing classes.

I've been told by a few people that the first semester is the hardest. I am prepared to meet this challenge. I will probably shed many tears, scream enough to drive my guys crazy-they're kind of used to it, and beg to quit. Quitting is not an option though. I've also been told it's the hardest thing to do, but the best thing to have done. In the end it's worth it.

Now it's time to get clothes out for the big day, to make sure everyone's taken care of, and to take a deep breath!

scrappin'

You might notice some scrapbooking entries, or blogs I subscribe to. This is one of the activities I took up-again-this summer. After being inspired by a friend's scrapbooks of her childrens' school years I decided to do the same. I had two large storage boxes worth of things we've saved over the years. I set out and organized everything, for both my boys, by grade level knowing I wanted to do their books chronologically by grade. I started with Alec's book, since he's had less years to deal with as he's the youngest of the two. Samples from it may be found a couples blog entries before this one. I'm still working on Brian's, and am currently in 8th grade. Because the books have turned out to be so large, it is apparent their high school years will take up a whole new album. Once I'm up-to0date on Brian's I will take some photos and post them for everyone to check out.

Tomorrow starts a new week, and a new school year. Both boys are ready, and I imagine somewhat excited...at least to see their friends. In the morning I will battle with them over taking pictures of them. As they've gotten older they've become more resistant...much to my displeasure!

I suppose Tuesday morning I might have to have one of them take a photo of me, for my first day of nursing school. It almost seems surreal. Something I've waited for, for so long, is finally coming to fruition.

After sending the boys off in the morning, I will start my self-induced walking program. After returning home and showering I will set out to organize things for my classes, and then I just might have to go get a well-deserved pedicure!