this time next week

Next Tuesday we orient to our first clinical site. Yikes!!! I am both nervous and excited, all rolled up into a boundless, near mindless frenzy of energy! This semester we'll be spending six weeks in long term care, working one-on-one with one patient (I'm not too sure I like being limited to one patient, but think there will be opportunities to help where help is needed). The following week we have spring break, and the week after we actually start patient care. I am soooo nervous because aside from the free clinic I volunteered at for two hours this past semester I have not interacted with patients in oh, about ten years!

One thing I am not looking forward to is the insanely ugly uniform we have to wear...pictures sure to follow. After leaving class today I dropped it off at the cleaners to have the patches sewn on. I'd try myself, but decided to go for the straight option. Little did I know it was also the rip off option, at $30 a pop!!! That's the total for three rockers, three rectangulars on two shirts and one lab coat!

This all hinges on passing the dreaded pharmacology final/class. Back to the books...

oops! it's doing it again

It's snowing, again. It's Monday morning and when I'm supposed to be on my way to class to hear lecture about the nursing process, again, this time a more in-depth take on it, I'm sitting here at home, with my kids. Yippee! Snow day! Can you read the sarcasm??

one and a half down

The end of this week will mark the half-way point of this semester, thus one and a half semesters of nursing school will be o-v-e-r! Two and a half to go! Who's counting? We're not counting summer, because well, it's summer and although I'll still be taking a couple of classes, I'll be externing (hopefully), spending time with family, going to Colorado for my 20 year high school reunion and time will fly by!

I've been busy studying, trying to fit it all in, to include the regular material along with all the ATI stuff. We have ATI testing for RN Fundamentals and Mental Health this semester. For those that aren't aware, ATI testing is a prepatory program for NCLEX. It is the company that deals with the TEAS exam. If you're familiar with HESI it serves the same basic purpose. My program uses ATI, some use ATI, some use HESI. Each semester you are required to pass ATI/HESI tests along with your regular course tests to move along in your program. If you do not pass you may seek remediation, and try again. Depending on your program requirements you may have a couple of chances, after which if you do not pass, you are out. In my opinon the ATI books, also known as "modules" are simple. They may be too simple. I've taken three practice tests and have had varying results with each. I must say, I'm thinking the "modules" are worthless. I'm all about being prepared for NCLEX, especially considering I'm in a weaker program, but give a nursing student a break!

Are there any nurses/recent graduates/soon-to-be graduates out there who feel they went to a good school and/or feel they were well-prepared for NCLEX? What were some of the materials you used?

I know I shouldn't be worrying about the future so much as just studying and working on the here and now, but I can't help but worry that I'm not being prepared. I really ought to sit down with a couple of the second year students and pick their brains.

I mentioned to one of them that I was thinking about transferring and the school I was thinking of transferring to. She looked at me as if I had been smoking crack. She said she knows students who go there and they absolutely hate it. Now this is heresay. I've communicated with one student who gave it glowing recommendations.

So I still find myself at odds as to whether or not to transfer, the decision's just not that easy to make. There are so many things to think about.

bittersweet redemption

re-demp-tion
an act of redeeming or the state of being redeemed; deliverance.

There comes a point when your son starts playing baseball at the age of four or five that you start dreaming of him playing for high school someday. As the years go on you see a natural athlete blossom and you're almost assured that your dreams will be fulfilled his freshman year. He not only plays baseball proving his athletic abilities, but also basketball, soccer and flag football. Soccer would be his next favorite sport to play, and if baseball didn't seem to be a calling than soccer would surely fit the bill for his needs. Baseball is in his heart. He loves the Dodgers. He loves the game.

In 1998 LB started playing baseball. He never played teeball, as it wasn't an option on the base where we were living at the time. They offered coach pitch, so Big B took the reins and started up a team with me in tow as the team mom. Even though I often dreamed that LB would play high school ball someday there were often times that I didn't think he'd ever play again. If you have small children you might know how stubborn they can be when they do not want to do something! No way, no how...nu uh! I guess that's a memory I can look back on with some pride in our parenting abilities knowing we made him stick it out, not letting him quit.

Last year, his freshman year in high school, my dreams were shattered in an instant as we refreshed the school website page the team roster was being uploaded onto. Tryouts had been extended because weather last year around this time was bad, so we were already exhausted. That last night after we picked LB up we headed over to Subway for a quick bite to eat and then headed home. We knew that in the time we'd taken to eat and go home that they might have started to enter the roster online so we checked. The varsity team had already been picked and there was no chance he was going to be on it anyway so we went directly to the JV page. Sure enough, there were a couple of names. We kept refreshing and as we got closer to our name alphabetically, the anticipation grew. If you haven't figured it out by now I am a pretty emotional person. At this point I'm pretty much in panic mode. Then it happens. The kids name who would be after ours shows up and I immediately burst into tears. Yeah, not good. Not good for LB, the kid who's trying to put up a brave front, and not let this utter disappointment get to him. But of course his freak of a mother is well, freaking out. Oopsy. I sorry.

We can look back and laugh about it now. Wholeheartedly.

Cuz, guess what!? Tryouts ended yesterday, after the regularly scheduled three days of cold, but sunny weather. I went and picked him up and we came home. This year we're exhausted, but for other reasons. Me? Well...because I'm a nursing student for gosh sakes! The guys? Well, because they're...well, guys. So we ordered Dominos.

Big B and AW were upstairs rearranging AW's room to accomodate the larger than life drum set, and LB and I were cruising Facebook as we were awaiting our gourmet cuisine.

While on Facebook I had updated my status and commentary ensued:
status: ...is waiting on pins and needles
friend: It's more comfortable to wait on the couch
me: Baseball tryouts were the past three days and we're waiting on the roster
other friend: They're posting them right now!
me: ..., you made me scream, no lie!

I did. I screamed. Sad, sad, woman. Of course LB and I are rushing to get on the school website, he on one computer and I on the other. This time we go straight for varsity, since it's the first list anyway. And wouldn't you know it there was his name!

HE MADE VARSITY!!!

So we keep refreshing since the list was somewhat short and although it's alphabetical, it's not being entered as such. The names were being entered any whichaway, ending up alphabetized. He is one of 14 players on the team, and the only sophomore!

Once again I will say it, hard work pays off!

Last year after he didn't make the team, along with his friends who also didn't, we were able to get them all on the same county recreational team. They won the championships! LB also played for our local American Legion post, went to the University of VA summer camp, and played for the non-sanctioned school fall ball team. Basically, he played baseball all year long last year. He really must have improved in his skills, more than he would admit. In fact before yesterday, if you asked him he probably would've said he sucks at baseball. Go figure.

Like I said, he's the only sophomore that made the varsity team. So after the elation (instead of instant tears it was instant delirious laughter from me of which the guys had to tell me to shut up) wore off we kept refreshing the varsity page and once we knew the roster was complete we went to the JV page. We saw the names added, at random as the varsity had been, yet still alphabetically. As your kids grow and bring friends home you come to care for some of their friends. They become like surrogate children. All but two of the boys who didn't make the team last year, did make the team(s)this year. It's sad for both, but one especially and anyone's heart would break knowing the heart this kid has for the game.

Redemption is bittersweet.

I feel the greatest pride for my own son. I did give him the speech about going in to school today just like anyday, and to not let his head swell, but to remain humble. I can't help but feel sad for the other boy, who is like a son to me, who has to go in to school today with a broken heart and shattered dreams.

freebirthing

Last night before turning over and falling into a deep slumber for the night I watched a show on Discovery Health entitled "Freebirthing". As I've mentioned before I'm drawn to women's health and mother/baby, so I spend some time watching birth related television shows.

This particular show was about the movement spanning across the big pond known as the Atlantic Ocean, from the US to the UK, of women choosing to give birth without any medical interventions whatsoever. I will admit it was fascinating watching the women give birth and take their babies right up into their own arms. That being said the near medical professional in me shuddered to think of the possible complications that could ensue and where would mom and baby be left, but in some instances but to die? Really! In the case of one of the moms it was said that she lived at a bit of a distance from any hospital. A couple of the moms did take the initiative and learned about infant resuscitation measures.

I've pondered the idea, when thinking of one of the externships that I'm applying for where there is a possibility of working in labor and delivery, of specifying my desire to work there. Do I really want to go that far? I don't know if I want to limit myself. But it would be a good way to find out if I truly want to go that route. It is for a limited amount of time, so there is not a definite obligation. If I do in fact love it, it would be a step in the right direction. Hmm, decisions, decisions.



As for today, my lab partner and I are headed in to do our skills check-off. This semester we're doing things a bit differently. Instead of learning a skill one week, and testing the next, we've been learning all along and this week is the final week and we'll be testing scenario-style. It's exciting, because it should be more fun this way, but also more nerve-wracking! I'm hoping they'll have it set up to where we're working on mutiple patients and not just our one and only SimMan. We shall see.

In family news, I've possibly gone and done something that many might consider my last breach of sanity. First, let me explain. As many of you know we've had our difficulties recently with AW. You really don't even know the half of it. Big B asked me not to tell anyone about some of the stuff we've been through and I've honored his wishes. What it's come down to is AW's admission that he feels that he's been acting out because he wants our attention, that he's not getting enough between daddy vegging out on the couch at night watching sports and regular TV shows, and mommy always studying. Sigh...

We're firm believers in the ideology that active children stay out of trouble. AW has not been "active" since giving up soccer. Since these recent incidences Big B and I came to the conclusion that he needs to get back into the groove. We gave him several options from boy scouts to karate to going back to soccer, but being as musically interested and inclined as he is he has chosen .....drum roll....no seriously....don't just think the sound of the drum roll as far as impending suspension of upcoming news, because that's the news.

we now live with drums

A friend who went through a music phase owns many instruments and has decided to sell off some of them, so now we're the lucky owner of a larger than life drum set that is sitting in a smaller than small bedroom. Now I just need to find a good place for lessons. That and a good set of noise cancelling headphones, you know the kind...envision ground crews on airfields or Nascar raceways.

the big parts crammed into the back of the car



more in the back seat



the best part up front by me
...the smile on his face

perseverance

It only took me seven years, traveling across two countries and several continents, dealing with small children growing into wild teens, deployments and many other obstacles to accomplish my degree. Hard work really does pay off, don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Don't let anyone get in your way!

Now if I may make it through the current educational endeavor...

On that note I made a 92 on my perioperative nursing and medications exam today! Much better than the last (first) test in that class (Nur108).

the sweetest thing

Big B just returned from his trip to New Mexico. He had a lay-over in the Denver airport and he returned home with a little bit of heaven. These caramel apples are not only scrumptious to the palate, but they hold sentimental value for me. I was born in Colorado, and went to high school in Colorado. I used to love to have a treat once in a while, and when friends and I would go to the mall we would every-so-often indulge in a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Caramel Apple. If you ever have the chance, indulge yourself in a little sinful pleasure!



Besides the one you see, there are two others nestled inside the box. Tomorrow the guys and I will slice into these morsels of goodness...yummee!

wanting what you can't have

Yeah, so I have my annual girly appointment this morning at 0830, and because they're drawing labs I am fasting. What I wouldn't give for a cup o' joe right about now, especially considering I woke up at the lovely hour of 0420! One might think this would be a good time to study, but at this point that would not be a good idea as it would probably be the sleep aid I dont need right now! It's nearly 6 a.m., thus the point of no return. So here I sit, blogging.

I was checking out one of my new friends here in blogland, at The Adventures of a Single Mom/Nursing Student where she has the following video posted. I decided it's too funny to not hijack, so here it is for your viewing (and laughing) pleasure:


And if you can't get enough of those very talented Baylor Louis Herrington School of Nursing students than you're in for a treat with this video:


Just an update to yesterday's mention of the MH exam, I made a 33/35. Now it's time to focus on the next Nur108-Concepts and Principles exam we're taking this coming Monday. It's going to be on perioperative nursing and medications.

As for today, after my appointment I'll stop off and pick myself up something for breakfast and head to lab for the day. We'll be working on IV meds, and hopefully we'll have a chance to practice the skills we've learned in previous weeks, since our check off is next Wednesday.

eggs in one basket

Does anyone else feel like time is flying by way too quickly? I sure do!

The MH exam went okay today, meaning I think I did relatively well. It's so very frustrating because the instructor does not use NCLEX test bank questions, she makes her own questions up. As with every test there were a few that many of my classmates and I found troubling. Many of us left a little disgruntled, because many times we've found it's her way or no way. I will admit there have been a few questions we've argued for, for whatever reason, and she's seen the point, and dropped the question. Enough about that!

Prior to the test a human resources rep, and two nurses from our local hospital came to talk to us about their new and improved externship program. In years past nurse externs have been little more than CNAs. This new HR rep is revamping their program and it sounds awesome! First off, they will be selecting 5 candidates, and only 5. In the past they've hired more. They're emphasizing education in their new program and rather than having a large group that receive little attention they are going to focus on the chosen five. In the 10 week program, starting in late May, there will be time dedicated to education with a clinical instructor, time spent shadowing on other units, and a small portion of time shadowing a patient concierge, all aside from time spent with your preceptor. Of the 5 chosen two will go to the ortho/peds floor, 2 will go to med/surg/telemetry, and one will go to ICU. The drawback for me is the 10 week time period. I was hoping to start in early May, as soon as this semester is over, and go all summer.

Other area hospitals had posted their extern positions on their websites already and I've applied for one of them. Aside from the above hospital this is the next closest in relation to where I reside. I don't know many particulars about that program, other than what a second year student who externed there last year has told me. She externed in the ED, and gained invaluable experience. I do know they'll be placing in the ED,family birthing center, stepdown, med/surg and ICU.

There are two other hospitals, further out, but no more than 40 minutes away, where I will also be applying to their externships as well. Don't wanna put all my eggs in one basket!

Speaking of....I just set my first externship interview appointment up...just now!!! It's from the second hospital, and I did ask for some information. Unfortunately it also starts late May, and only runs 8 weeks. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't stay on as PRN!

drama free as of late

This past weekend pretty much went off without a hitch. It's either restrictions placed on AW keeping him from causing too much frustration or Murphy decided to visit someone else, maybe both. The weekend was also pleasant considering it was Valentine's Day on Saturday. I've eluded before to the fact that birthdays and romantic holidays have not received the attention desired by me, but so far this year has been a bit different. Maybe it's just my standards have lowered. Who knows? Bottom line I don't have any complaints from the past few days, even Saturday!

Friday we sent the boys off to the skating rink that has reopened after closing several years ago. It's a great thing for our area considering there's not much to do around here, especially this time of year. Big B and I watched Pride and Glory with Ed Norton and Colin Ferrell. We gave it a thumbs up. Earlier in the day I was able to get in some worthwhile studying.

Saturday we spent being lazy, I did some studying and then we topped it all off with a great dinner. When we were in Italy we dined at several favorite restaurants, and I've tried to replicate some of the recipes we enjoyed. Big B loves the steak with arugula, parmesan and balsamic vinegar. We had that with a side of risotto with mushrooms. Our beverage of choice was Cabernet Sauvignon. I think I'm allergic to red wines. Everytime I drink one I end up with a massive headache that same night.

We'd rented two other movies for the weekend. Saturday night I ended up viewing one of them by myself as the guys gave it a thumbs down! I liked it though. Dorothy Mills,a psychological thriller set in Ireland is sure to give you goosebumps.

With our second Mental Health Nursing exam tomorrow I was able to squeeze in some studying for it, and medications and perioperative nursing for our other classes.

Sunday was yet another lazy day, the highlight being our viewing of Fireproof. Big B and LB watched it with me, even though they spent more time making fun of it than anything else. I swear sometimes I think I live with two fifteen year olds! It was a good movie, despite the poor acting. The theme was definitely something any couple could take something from. The guys were pretty irritated that there wasn't more firefighting in it. I think the movie left its mark, however temporary, on Big B as he was sweeter than he'd been all weekend. He bordered on syrupy, sickening sweet. I love that guy!

Nonetheless we all got along for the most part, there weren't any teen/preteen related incidents and I was able to get a moderate amount of studying in!

Besides our MH exam tomorrow we have our Pharm class and we'll be going over IV meds. I've got basic drug calculations down, but the IV meds are giving me a little more grief. I just need to practice more than I have been.

A classmate called me after class today and told me about an article concerning the turnover rate for new nurses and how some hospitals are dealing with the issue.

Today's another one of those days, after so many of feeling confident and sure of my decision to become a nurse, where I have repressed feelings come back to haunt me. Back when I was active duty confidence was not one of my vocabulary words, so I struggled with a lot. At 38 I'm more confident than I was at 18-19-20, however, like I said, it's insecurities that have been living at the back of my mind resurfacing. As the days press on my classmates and I are facing our first clinical rotation together and it's at a long term care facility. Actually two groups are going to one LTC and a third group is going to the other LTC. In many ways I'm so excited, but also extremely nervous. I feel like that 19 year old again! I look forward to the experience feeding into a heightened level of confidence for me.