resounding bleakness

Last year around this time I was obsessively looking at the area hospitals' job search pages. At the time you could be sure to find new grad postings.

Now?

Not so much.

In fact, the only thing comparable is the RNA (RN applicant) position open at a local university hospital. It's for a renal/respiratory unit. It's not really my cup of pee, I mean tea, but at this point, I'll take anything! That reminds me I need to check out another university's job postings. It's further then most of the others, but it's better than nothing.



A huge medical center, that is set to open in a couple of months, is hiring for various RN positions and I did come across one on their women's and children's pre/post-partum unit. I applied for it. The chances of me getting that job are so bleak it's funny, but what the hey. It's good practice filling out the applications.

It's so bad in this area that even the people I know who work in our local community hospital as externs or clinical techs (that are also graduating next month) - the one where we're doing our preceptorships - aren't even guaranteed positions. In fact this very hospital just laid off 35+ people in various departments, to include department heads, this past week. All I ask is that they leave the nurses alone! I mean there's enough competition out there with the hordes of all the other new grads that are also currently searching for jobs, without throwing in nurses who have experience.

I will work anywhere...hospital, doctors office, school...I am not picky!

never say "never", except...

...NEVER leave early, when training.

I started my preceptorship this past Wednesday night. I went in eager as all get-out, only to find out my preceptor was not working that night. It was some sort of mix-up, most likely due to my crazed thought processes. Because we have to get in enough hours to finish our schooling I had no choice, but to stay, as long as someone would keep me. Luckily, someone did.

It was a pretty slow night, especially considering the chaos that had ensued during days, and even the previous several days and nights. One a.m. rolled around and since it was my first night shift in about 18 years, and I hadn't slept well in preparation for it, when my RN said something about leaving early on call, I was all for it. Then we had someone walk in with abdominal pains. Long story, short: she was gone within two hours. So three a.m. rolls around and we're sent packing.

I'd thought to myself that I should stay, as you never know what you might miss in your given opportunities, and well heck I had stayed awake up to that point. Alas, I'd gotten 8 hours in and I knew I could squeeze the lacking 4 out somewhere else, so my exhaustion won out. I don't know that anyone would have let me stay anyway.

Wouldn't you know, when I get in Thursday night I hear about the labor patient that came in breech, and all hell broke loose, after we'd left. They had problems during the labor AND the baby had problems. Now, I would never wish any of that on anyone, but for the purposes of training, experience - good or bad - is like gold.

"Horrible" was the term I heard over and over in reference to the whole situation. I'd say it's pretty accurate, because it's how I feel having missed it.

It's all good though. I survived my first stretch of night shifts and thoroughly enjoyed it. I look forward to the next two weeks and pray, hope and wish to find something in what I now think is my niche, family birthing/L&D.

days 'n' nights

As of today I have 35 days until pinning. It's incredibly unbelievable that the days left in nursing school are so few.

I was just looking at some pictures from a lunch some of my classmates and I shared one day, in between classes. We'd taken an exam in the morning class. Many of us bombed it and were left feeling very defeated. We headed to a local restaurant to eat and drown our misery. We did just that. Uncharacteristic for many of us, we decided to drink. I don't drink during the day, ever, but decided that day it was warranted. It was a blast and we were able to let off steam. We were responsible; those who drove didn't drink.

Memories. I've not only gained an education over the past 20 or so months, but I've made connections I plan to keep forever. How fortunate is that!?

Tomorrow I embark on a slightly different adventure within this journey. That's the adventure into night shifts. I worked many "mids", 7a-7p, way back when I was in the Air Force. One thing I did like about it is well, for one, I didn't have to wake up with the sun, and also, the muckity-mucks weren't around to be dealt with. It should be interesting to see how it goes for me. I can only hope that my preceptorship in the family birthing center will be filled with many busy nights.

We're done with classes, and all that's left is our preceptorships, filling in holes that are left by some assignments that are still outstanding and then our one final exam. That doesn't include our exit-critical thinking ATI exam, but that's nothing you consciously prepare for.

Wow. I am in such disbelief that there's just over a month left of nursing school. There's still NCLEX to study for, but I really hope to have that done no later than mid-June.

Now the hard part will be finding a job!

never in a million

I have to say, I'm pretty happy I decided to start this blog back when I started nursing school. It enables me the ability to go back through and see how far I've come. This post made me laugh.

I didn't think I would ever get to this point, never in a million years.

Here it is 43 days until pinning and I am in disbelief. The journey's far from over, but it certainly has been quite the trip.

Today my class took the ATI Comprehensive Predictor (CP). I surpassed the benchmark set forth by our program for us. According to my score I have a 97% chance of passing NCLEX on the first attempt. Awesome, right? That's what the test is all about - a prediction. In our program we're required to take the various ATI exams and meet or surpass benchmark. I've successfully done so for all, but the pharmacology exam. Let's just say, "third time's a charm."

So, we have everything that one already has to accomplish in nursing school, what with care plan, unit exams, lab evals, stress, stress and more stress, etc., along with the pressure of passing these ATI exams. We're even graded on our attempts. In the overall scheme of our grades it doesn't take up a large percentage. That being said, you have to take the exams and you have to meet or surpass benchmark. It's not like you can get away with not taking them.

With success on your first attempt you receive 10 points, 7.5 on your second and 5 on your third. You have to do remediation before any successive attempts. That includes the CP. When I remediated for the pharm ATI all I had to do was study from the focused reviews available after each exam. It's quite a bit different for the CP, in that it's a 6-hour session, and you have to do it for the full length. I've heard that it's beneficial to do anyway and some of us have actually talked about sitting in. It couldn't hurt, could it? No.

Anyway. The problem here is it's so frustrating at this point to have this weighing so heavily on us. I'd like to see results of statistical evidence where it is proven that those who do well on the CP, do equally as well on the NCLEX. I personally think it's a load of BS. I mean, sure I passed today, but who's to say that in two-three months when I go to take the NCLEX that I am not going to have some wild and crazy extraneous factor that takes me off of my current game? I don't plan on this happening, but one never knows. It's about as fruitful for me to say, oh I passed today so I will have no problem passing NCLEX on my first try; I can rest on my laurels. I don't plan on that either.

The best thing to do is keep pushing toward the NCLEX. Keep studying. Set up a game plan for the remainder of the time left in school, and then one for post-graduation.

Now that I have that hurdle out of the way I have to write up my resume and cover letter for my professional portfolio, mentor on Wednesday, do our group project on Thursday, do my preceptorship in April and turn in the packet for it, and take the final exam the beginning of May.

gotta love him

Recently, I gave my eldest, who is a 17-year old athlete, his own bottle of One a Day Teen Advantage vitamins. He calls me up the next day to ask me how he is supposed to take them. I, in all of my infinite wisdom, and total maternal grace told him to swallow them with water. He informs me he's supposed to take them with food. Ok, that just means you need to take them when you eat.

DIRECTIONS:
Teens: One tablet daily, with food.

It occurred to me, that because he is a literal-minded being that maybe I should clarify exactly how he did take the tablet.

Sure enough, he took it with food. Literally, with a bite of food he chewed it up.

I just shook my head and informed him of the fact that he should swallow it whole, after he has eaten. This is the kid, that when I offered him acetaminophen for foot pain several years ago, he refused.

"The pain is not in my head!"

Yes, I did laugh. In his defense, all he'd ever taken acetaminophen for prior to that was for headaches.

spring "break"

At this very moment I'm pretty overstimulated, so much so that it's pretty much impossible to do any studying. What better time to blog, than when you're all excited about life's goings on?

First off, there's only 53 days until pinning. If I can survive this next week and a half, it's smooth sailing from April 1st onward. This next week we have a PPT project that is due, we have class on Monday, after which I plan on taking my eye & ear unit exam (or my pharmacology ATI, depending on which one I feel more confident in taking - heck, maybe both!) If I don't take the ATI Monday, I'll take it Tuesday. I have to retake the Comprehensive Predictor practice ATI this coming Sunday as I just took it and didn't quite get benchmark. (We take the CP on the 29th.) Hmmm... Wednesday we have our day in the lab with Sim Man. All the while I'm studying for NCLEX and ATIs, which is pretty much doing the same thing. After the 1st of April all that's left to do is my preceptorship, write up my resume and a cover letter for my professional portfolio, and study for our med/surg final.

What has my adrenaline pumping today? Well, let me tell ya!

I have plans.

I'm taking a couple of breaks from nursing school reality and delving into my family life. This evening LB has an away baseball game. I don't know if I've mentioned it before now, but he made the Varsity team. He started at this past Wednesday's game and played an awesome game. Tomorrow we're heading out to Baltimore to a Medieval Times dinner with some of Big B's coworkers and one of my BFFs from school, and her beau.

I am so excited. I've been working my butt off and have decided to take a little bit of a time-out of my Spring "Break", that has been nothing of a break from studying, to have a little fun and to be re-energized. Rest assured the remainder of the time will be spent with my nose in the books and online doing practice ATIs.

savings time

I seriously don't think there's any time being saved as of late. It's whipping by faster than any hurricane force winds.

Earlier this semester I made a list of the things that needed to be accomplished prior to pinning in May. I'm happy to report I'm nearly halfway down the list. It includes exams, ATIs, projects, discussion boards, care studies, reports and so on.

As of today I have the pharmacology ATI, along with the Comprehensive Predictor and the critical thinking ATI; an exam for the eye and ear unit, a professional portfolio that consists of my resume, and cover letter; a day in lab with Sim Man, a day in lab doing a group project, a day of mentoring first year students at the LTC facility I did my LTC rotation at, a group project PowerPoint to complete, all to be done before the 1st of April on the respective due dates. Then April 4th-24th I have my preceptorship. I'm incredibly delighted to report I'm going to the family birthing center for my preceptorship!!! I'll be on nights, which I'm hoping I live through, but it is only for 3 weeks. Next week I'll get to meet my preceptor.

Then our final exam is the week of May 3rd. Then May 11th is pinning. Wow. I can't believe how fast it's going!

she'll be coming around

So, it's been nearly a month since I last posted. "Time flies...", as they say.

What's been up with me?

Hmmm. I have been busy. School has me running ragged and it's about all I can do to make it through these last 69 days until pinning. 69 days?? Yes. Can you believe it? My how time has flown!

Clinicals have been lack luster. I've had some pretty good experiences, just nothing to write home to mom, or to post on my blog, about. That is, until yesterday, I should say. Yesterday I took care of my first cancer patient. Breast cancer that's metastasized all over, and it was heart wrenching. I was at such a loss as to what to do. The woman is in pain beyond anything I've ever known myself. They're working on getting it controlled, so she can go be at home with her family. Needless to say, I cried my first tears as I was overcome by grief for her that went back to my days grieving for my aunt, and then just thinking about my own mom.

It took me back to when I was seventeen and I still remember that night like it was last night. My aunt laid there on her bed, unresponsive, and that was it. She had lost her battle. My mom hasn't had cancer, thank God, but I still worry. It's hard since she lives in Texas, so far away.

I'm supposed to be in class today, but succumbed to another migraine. They don't happen as frequently as they were when I was on Seasonale, but I do get them every so often. It's the first day I missed this semester, of class, so I'm not too worried. Clinicals, on the other hand have been a different story.

I've missed a total of six days. Now don't get your panties in a bunch. Three of those days were acts of God. I'm sure you heard about "Snowmageddon"? Yes, well thanks to being snowed in for days at a time this lovely winter, we didn't have clinicals for three days. The other three days were my own personal reasons, two for illness and well, last week...

Last week, just as I was about to leave my across-the-street-neighbor backed into LB's car. Sooo, I had to take care of that situation and then I headed to the hospital. After I arrived LB calls and says his car won't start. Sooo, I take off to take him to school. In the meantime I call Big B, who then calls LB, who then calls me back to let me know Dad saved the day. By this time I was far enough away from the hospital I knew I would not be able to get back up to the third floor before missing report, which is our end-all-to-be-all for missing a day.

This Friday I get to play make-up and go to clinicals during a PN class time. The instructor, who just so happens to be my current rotation's instructor, told me that our main instructor wanted me to be supervisor for the day, but instead she's just going to give me a patient. That's fine with me.

Over the past month I have missed DC dreadfully. I keep thinking I see him at different spots he would easily be found at, but it's just my mind playing tricks on me. Snooki has fit in like a dream with our family. It's as if she's been with us since she was a kitten. It's kind of funny because she's taken quite a liking to bathing the dogs. They'll look back at her as if she's nuts, but then they just lie there and bask in the glory of being licked (read: given attention).

In other news I converted from my Blackberry to an iPhone. After getting an iPod Touch for Christmas, and realizing how much more they can do, it was a no-brainer. I love it. I just received it yesterday and have switched everything over from the Touch and the Blackberry, and now all that's left to do is search for apps that will help with the remainder of nursing school and possibly just nursing.

I should find out at the end of this month where I'll be doing my preceptorship at. For my choices, I put, #1, the family birthing center, #2, the ER, and #3, the OR. After spending considerable time in med/surg now, I've decided it is not my cup of tea. Any of my choices would be divine for me. As I've previously admitted I do have a pull towards woman's health/labor and delivery, but there's also the trauma junkie in me. As far as finding a job in the next few months I've even gotten to the point that I might be fine with working in a doctor's office, or school if the chance arises. I'm torn in a couple of directions because I do have my career aspirations, but then I do have my boys to think of. We'll just have to wait and see what jobs come open.

5:5

For the first time ever in my household, we have an even number of females to males.

The loss of DC started a long time before his death. As anyone knows who has had, or has an aging animal, they are often not as frisky as they used to be. The elderly feline won't run spastically through the house in a burst of sudden energy. He won't come lie by your side for a night's rest like he used to. He prefers to stay on the main level and ride out his last months in a sort of solitary confinement.

To be honest I hadn't even missed the spastic runs through the house until I was out visiting my brother in CO this past summer and his young cat went lickety-split as if its tail had been lit on fire.

I did miss him snuggling beside me on the bed.

It would stand to reason I would seek out a new furever friend sooner than later. I know me and I know I haven't lived without feline companionship for more than 3 years in my whole life.

It was a lot easier to talk Big B into inviting a new cat into the house than I ever imagined it would be. He had tried to refuse before we actually set out this past Sunday for lunner (lunch + dinner) out as a family. We had been snowed in Saturday, so the guys weren't able to take me out for my birthday. I picked a place knowing there would be a Petsmart nearby. We went in after dining on crab legs at Joe's Crab Shack, but to no avail. They didn't have a cat that I fell for. Fortunately, for me there was another Petsmart on the way home, and Big B willingly sped over to the right-hand lane to make the exit.

I originally intended on finding a small kitten to call my own, but then thought better of it considering our dogs. The second Petsmart had a litter of 7 month old kittens that had just come in the day before, but they were incredibly spooked. Before the kittens, I had first noticed this chubby, one year old white/black/tan tabby who played with me through the plexiglass. Her face was just too sweet to leave behind. I had the attendant bring her into the little cat-meeting area and I fell in love.

Meet Snooki


Girl power...She's warming up to everyone nicely and even cuddles with Sandi. That's a first, no cat in our house has ever had much of anything to do with the dogs, let alone getting that close to them!

where am i?

When it was time for me to leave Colorado for Air Force basic military training I hoped and prayed Mother Nature would hold off on dumping the fluffy white stuff called snow. I left December 4th, and I want to say, if I remember correctly, it snowed December 5th that year. That was over 20 years ago. In fact I avoided the frozen precipitation for a couple of years. I went from Texas to Arizona for more training and my first base was in Greece.

Love gets me every time.

Upon my impending departure from Greece I received orders to go to Bergstrom A.F.B, Austin, TX. It looked like I was on a roll. Of course, I'd already met and fallen in love with Mr. Wonderful. He had orders to go to Minot A.F.B, Minot, ND.

Uh oh.

We just had to be together. Can we say "dilemma!"? What's a lovestruck couple to do?

I'll tell you what we did. One of the medics I worked with also had orders to go to Minot. We were the same rank, time in service, all that mattered. Why not swap orders? She was all for it. Who wouldn't be? Austin was a much better fit for her than Minot would be. She was excited beyond belief. I didn't have to twist her arm. If only it were as simple as trading a government form amongst one another. Fortunately we were on a small base where everyone pretty much knew each other. I had a First Sergeant and Big B had a commander that were willing to pull whatever strings they had to to keep us together. We, or rather, I caught a lot of flack for it, too. It must be love to go to Minot!

Come on! It couldn't be all that bad. Could it?

I left Greece one month ahead of Big B. I went home to Colorado to do some wedding planning, because yes, we were engaged by this point. After spending March at home, I made my way up to ND. Upon signing in to my unit I was issued a parka and mukluks. Come on, it's April do I really need these!? During the next blizzard (1992) I quickly learned that yes, frozen tundra gear is definitely necessary in the Great White North. Big B had flown in to his childhood home of NJ, and after spending a couple of days there started to make his way out northwest and was met with the blizzard. He made it into my arms in one piece and that September we were married. We spent three and a half years in ND. He went on a remote tour to get us out of there.

I seriously dislike the cold and even more than that I abhor snow.

This brings me to my current surroundings in sub-Northern VA. In the nearly five years that we've been here we've had a couple of times during January/February when we've had some snow. It's been enough to cause snow days (it only takes one flake around here).

Snow has become my enemy. It ruined a Christmas party we were supposed to have, with the Blizzard of '09. It's dumped on us a couple of times since then, and now it's snowing again, January 30th, 2010!

Happy Birthday to me!!!