one word

It's bright and early Wednesday morning, well maybe not so bright, but definitely early. I'm ready for the day ahead. I walk in and meet up with some of my classmates. Everyone's excited to see each other since it's been a couple of months since we last met up, at least for most. We're all a little hesitant considering we are starting our second clinical rotation, yet excited all the same. We're full of anticipation. As we're chit chatting I notice everyone's stethoscopes around their necks and realize with a sudden, all consuming feeling of terror that I left mine at home.

Wait a minute! What else am I forgetting?

I set off in search of my clinical instructor. As I'm walking around frantically searching I notice something odd about my surroundings. Isn't that Nurse C? The halls are the same. There's that same old, crappy nurse's station that could use some serious updating. In fact the whole place could use some serious renovation. It's the long-term care facility where we did our spring semester clinical rotation! Why are we here again?! Aren't we supposed to be at the hospital?!

Why am I wearing only one shoe?!

I see people gathering in the lobby area. For such a small area there seems to be a massive crowd, maybe thirty or forty people altogether.

Why are there so many people? Who are all these people?

There she is! There's my clinical instructor! By this time I realize I'm wearing no shoes whatsoever.

Wait! Where's my clipboard with my skills check-off list?!

I'm rushing to reach her, to tell her I've forgotten my stethoscope, and now my clipboard. It seems I'm moving in slow motion. I can't get to her fast enough! Finally I'm there by her side, waiting for her to stop talking with another student when all of a sudden I feel everyone's eyes on me. Everyone is looking toward the lower half of my body. What are they looking at?! I also feel a chill across my legs. I look down and in utter disbelief realize I am wearing no pants.

nightmare

all in one piece

There they are, my new plates and bowls. We received them the day before yesterday, all in one piece, which is much better than how the original shipment arrived. When I picked out the Parisian Fruit pattern I figured it would come with a variety of fruits. Evidently the variety must lie with the entire dinnerware set. The salad plates are apples, and I'm figuring the dinner plates are something else and so on... No biggie, as I like them anyway.

And in other news...

I've received my grades for Nutrition & Diet Therapy (an A) and Developmental Psych (a B). I could have gotten an A in psych except that one week where I had taken Ambien and fell over the elliptical machine I'd had such a hard time that week altogether. I turned in an incomplete assignment and received a very low grade on it. Had it not been for that I would have gotten an A. I even had the opportunity to resubmit, but with the other classes and life in general I just couldn't. It's frustrating because I normally hold myself to higher standards.

C'est la vie.

I'd like to give a shout out to Heather over at Nursapalooza. She is one of our newest full-fledged RNs!! Go over and congratulate her. I so can't wait to share such exciting news!

I'd also like to say a big "hello" to a blogger I've just come across, Nursing Anatomy, and thank her for the link to the Top 50 Nursing Blogs. Some of the blogs you and I read regularly are listed, along with what I'm sure are other great sources of everything nursing!

In just a few short days since posting that I would love for summer to last forever I've come around and have decided that heck no! Let's get this nursing school show on the road! There's still a sort of ambivalence within me concerning going on with nursing school. I heard just yesterday that there really isn't a nursing shortage in Northern VA, which just so happens to be where I live. I'm also fearful, of failure, and of generally what lies ahead.

My ride along with my friend/RN/Case Manager went well the other day. She, like I mentioned previously, works as a liaison between physicians, clients and insurance companies, but more specifically her work has to do with workman's compensation. She advises insurance companies whether a client's case is compensable or not. There were three appointments originally scheduled, but one had just been denied and the other had to be postponed. The one we did go on I thought was pretty interesting. The client happens to be a nurse who was injured while working with a combative client and ended up with a rotator cuff tear. After having surgery and undergoing several weeks of physical therapy this nurse was ready to return to the job on regular duty. There are a few layers to the case itself, but what I found fascinating was this nurse has been working as a nurse for about 30 years. This nurse absolutely loves nursing. The energy level and excitement to return to work was somewhat inspiring, if not astounding. We're talking someone nearing 70 years of age people!

During our conversations one subject that was brought up was--surprise, surprise-- the nursing shortage. It's cyclical. In thirty years this nurse has seen shortages come and go.

Later that day we went and saw my friend's husband who had just had surgery and was an inpatient at a local military hospital.

The day I walked out of the hospital I had been working in as an active duty medic I swore I would never go back to a hospital again, at least to work. That was in January of 1993. In 1997 I enrolled in a medical assistant program, with the intentions of doing clinic work. In 1999 I initiated my journey for nursing school. It was put on hold while we went overseas, and I flip-flopped with career choices. Since it had been an ambition from early on I decided to restart the journey toward becoming a registered nurse.

Here I am heading into my second year of nursing school. The other day as I walked through the halls of that military hospital a flood of emotions and insecurities I have tried to squash drenched me.

I almost wanted to fall to pieces.

today's the day

Today is the day I get to put summer semester to rest, once and for all. I will no longer have any other classes I have to take, except for the required nursing courses.

Do you know how good that feels to say that!?

Today's going to be a cinch. I'm actually looking forward to it, as I get to ride along with someone who is practicing on an advanced degree, and she's a friend to boot! She does not function in a patient care role as a RN, but rather works as a case manager between insurance companies and physicians. It's sure to be interesting, and will fill my service learning project requirement all at the same time. Tonight I'll write up my report on the experience, click submit and voila! Summer semester o-v-e-r.

Then the fun really begins. I have a lot to do to get things in order for the fall semester and the start of the second year of nursing school. As usual, while bogged down with classes, the house has been neglected. Big B does help out a lot, but our definitions of clean are a bit different.

Our bedroom needs to be torn apart and completely overhauled as far as cleanliness goes. I also need to go through our kitchen and get rid of a bunch of dishes we no longer need to keep around, as we've just bought new plates and bowls. We've been wanting square plates for a while, and finally found some we liked through Pfaltzgraff. Sadly, the first shipment came in pieces, and I don't mean the separate pieces that plates and bowls make up. I mean broken, shattered, into bits and pieces. You know the kind, the kind that are good for mosaics. We're hoping round two will afford us the complete set of plates and bowls we ordered. There were a few pieces that each made it in one piece, so we'll actually have extras. I'm not one for cookie-cutter type matching. So I opted to go with two different patterns. The dinner plates and bowls are "Nuance of Sage" and the salad plates are "Parisian Fruits". The dinner plates seem a little smaller than I'd really wanted them to be but it turns out they're only smaller than round dinner plates considering the rounded edges. Our first ever dinnerware came from Pfaltzgraff, thanks to bridal registries, and they lasted forever. Our most recent (Walmart) dinnerware, not so much.

I've received all of my textbooks for fall and my schedule. Somehow I don't think we'll have the opportunity to check out the syllabi for our classes until the first day of class. In an effort to give the benefit of the doubt, I will email the instructor to be sure. One would think there would be some sort of second year orientation so that syllabi could be handed out, clinical groups and location(s) could be assigned, and all the stuff that shouldn't take up instruction time could be handled. Who am I to question the practices of a nursing program though!?

Hmmph.

Ahh, well. I better go get ready for my day...wouldn't want to mess it all up by not filling this requirement, now would I!?

now that wasn't so bad!

Summer semester

Enough said? I mean really, who really wants to spend their summer taking classes? I certainly didn't, but it was a must. It was either spend the summer taking them, or add them in with nursing classes. Well, I'm not suicidal. However, if I had to take anymore classes along with nursing classes I think it might at least lead me to suicidal ideation.

Alas, the semester has pretty much come to an end and I'm happy to report that I survived. Schew!

I do have one last project to do and that is the Service Learning Project required for my anatomy and physiology class. I'm doing my service learning on Monday when I ride along with a friend who works as a case manager. After I have to write up a short report on what I did and learned and submit it to my online classroom discussion board, and then, well...finito!

My last exam didn't go so well the other day, but I did get enough points that along with the Service Learning Project I will have enough points to pass the class with a C. Considering my course load this semester, my health issues, and the kids being home, I'll swallow my pride and take my first college C and run with it. I've probably mentioned before it comes in as transfer credit and does not effect my GPA, so all's well.

I've continued taking the medication prescribed by the GI doc, although my pharmacy gave me a generic "equivalent" that I am questioning the effectiveness of. I had samples of the Kapidex, and since have started taking the generic form. I still don't have the abdominal pain waking me up anymore, but I am feeling the lump in throat sensation and seems it's worse on the generic form.

We aren't getting to take our family vacation, since we decided to buy a third car, so that LB would have his own. He is actually driving the second car, and Big B is driving the third. Whatever.

I haven't found the ring I spoke of in my last post. No one else has either. It's heartbreaking, but there's nothing more that can be done about it, except hope. As time wears on the hope dwindles though.

Aside from my SLP on Monday there's nothing else planned for next week, until the weekend. Next weekend is the summer version of Virginia's tax free holiday. We get to shop for school clothes and supplies tax free! I'll gladly brave the crowds to save a buck or two!

The weekend following we have the American Legion baseball team end-of-season BBQ. That following week we have registration and fees to pay for the '09-'10 school year.

And then...

Well the weekend of the 22nd we have tickets to Crue Fest 2. I'm not quite sure if I'll be going. I'm not a big fan of the other bands playing with Motley Crue, and quite frankly I'm not that interested in going period.

And then...

School starts here the 24th. LB will be entering his Junior year and AW his 8th grade year. I'll be entering my second year of nursing school.

Oh, why can't the summer just drag on forever!?

in an instant

All was well with my mommy vacation. It was a great, even stupendous, weekend. I spent two nights at the hotel, and two nights with my aunt and uncle. Then yesterday morning, about fifteen minutes before my uncle and I were to set off for the airport I discovered something was missing. The perfect vacation had become so imperfect in an instant.

Frantically, I start searching the room I had stayed in, and the surfaces I had placed it on. I searched inside my carry on. It was all to no avail.

I could not find my mother-in-law's emerald and diamond ring. I have lost a family heirloom.

It's not bad enough that I have to travel amongst strangers that now I have to do it miserably, feeling horribly.

Thursday when I was packing I told myself not to take it. It doesn't fit any of my fingers like it really should, but was just snug enough on my right middle finger that I felt it would be ok. Wrong!

Over the weekend I told one of my friends that I was hoping to get it resized to fit my left ring finger so that I could wear it as an anniversary band. It's such a gorgeous ring. Imagine an emerald-cut emerald flanked by two triangular-cut diamonds, set in white gold.

Big B had bought it years ago for my mother-in-law, before he and I even knew each other. He had given it to her as a gift. When she passed away, in 2002, he gave it and a few other pieces of jewelry, to me for Christmas that year.

Here I sit reminiscing over a wonderful weekend spent with old friends from high school and family I haven't seen in at least 3 years, yet it is all overshadowed by the loss of something so dear.

leavin' on a jet plane!

Can we say "shit eatin' grin"? please excuse the language, but I'm a tad bit excited. I think in a way I'm staying overly excited so that I don't think about the other side of it...what I am leaving behind, who I'm leaving behind.

What makes it worse is yesterday was a bad day for LB, thanks to his father and I. We both yelled at him at two separate times for totally different reasons. It all had to do with driving or car related type issues, and both instances were handled badly, thus leaving me feeling horrible. He and AW got into to it too, but that probably didn't phase him since it is a daily, sometimes hourly occurrence. We wont get into either of the two incidents as I really don't feel it's necessary. The point is I feel bad, which makes leaving my children worse.

Ahh, motherhood.

I have tons to do today. I still need to pack, finish up some homework, do some laundry, try on a dress that I'm going to take in the event I feel like going to the reunion in something more formal than I originally planned on wearing, study some, tidy up some, and gosh knows what else that I am currently spacing on! I also need to call my mom to check up on her; she had surgery on her shoulder last Friday. I need to call my aunt to firm up some of the plans for this weekend.

I just found out that one of my bestest friends, that just happens to live about 40 minutes from me (that's only ironic since we now live in VA and went to high school in CO-we actually have about 5 of us that live out here in VA!) is trying to go back for the reunion!!! She wasn't going to go because her daughter has college visits this summer, but her weekend must be free! Like I told another friend recently it's a good thing I've done Kegels over the years, I'd be pissin' my britches otherwise!

Well I could babble on for hours about my upcoming mommy vacation, but I wouldn't get any thing done! I"m so looking forward to seeing some old friends, and my family that I haven't seen in years. I get to meet my newest niece, born last year, August 29! I will also meet my cousins' children for the first time!

I'm so excited! and a little nervous...

scrap that!

So I have been tagged with "The Honest Scrap" award and I now must do the following, thank you LivingDeadNurse:
1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!
2. First, the recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.
3. Second, the recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.
4. Third, those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award.
5. Those 10 bloggers that receive this award should link back to the blog that awarded them “The Honest Scrap’ award.
So, 10 things about myself, OK here we go:
1) I tried out for cheerleading in high school. I am so not athletic! or coordinated!
2) I've never consumed an energy drink, not even Red Bull.
3) I don't like cliffs or drop offs.
4) I had a miscarriage 5 years ago.
5) I would have a tummy tuck or lower body lift in a heartbeat.
6) I've never gotten a tattoo...yet.
7) There's only a few people who I enjoy talking on the phone with, otherwise text me! or email me! or find me on Facebook!
8) I love being on the beach and in the sun, but can't hang for too long before I start overheating.
9) I haven't told my current psychology professor that I have a bachelor's degree in psychology.
10) I had to do CPR on a Greek National that washed up on the base beach while I was stationed in Greece.

10 bloggers that I have chosen are:
Nurse Ratched's Place
Lorie's Corner
Chasing Myself
Life is Full of Blessings
A Journey Through Nursing School & Beyond
Crazy Miracle Called Life
My Strong Medicine
Running Wildly
Anything Said
Life With Boys

the end is near

from this:

to this:


We almost have our whole driveway back! This also signifies the end of our 2009 landscaping adventures. We just have a couple of finishing touches and then we will be able to sit back and enjoy the rewards of our labor! Big B and a neighbor are scooping up the remains of the mulch as we have nowhere else to put it. From the chatter I can hear from outside, I'd say they're done! Finito!

7, 39, & 298

Seven days until I leave for my first ever mommy vacation.

Thirty-nine days until the second year of the rest of my life starts.

Two hundred ninety-eight days until the rest of my life really starts, aka graduation/pinning.

But who's counting?

Now, back to the books.

(psst...pain free again last night. The lumpy sensation in my throat did return yesterday evening. Still hoping...)

maybe...hopefully!?

Kapidex is a new heartburn/GERD/spastic esophagitis drug that the FDA just approved earlier this year. The GI doc wrote a Rx for me to take it and gave me some samples. I sampled one last night and didn't wake up with any abdominal pain as I have been recently (in the middle of the night), along with the lump in throat sensation.

No pain! None! Nada, zilch, zippo!!!!!!!!

Wouldn't ya know it, I don't feel any lumpiness to my throat either.

Ok, yes, it very well could be today is one of the good days as far as lumps go. Yes, one night on a medication is hardly enough to give valid and reliable results.

It's a start, and there is hope!

The best thing about it is, unlike with Nexium, I can take it at bedtime and not have to worry about taking it 20 minutes before a meal.

Now I'm off in my splendor to study for tomorrow's A&P Exam #5. That will be five down one to go. I only have one more quiz as well, and two discussion board posts. They're hefty, but I can manage. The next "forum" is to be about a medical issue that we, or someone we know has experienced, that pertains to subject matter we've studied this semester. We've studied the digestive system, so wouldn't ya know it, I'm doing mine on dysphasia. I have plenty to write about! The last one is to be on our service project. For this we have to spend at least one half day volunteering doing something we plan to do in our career. I have a friend who is a RN, and went on to get her master's in health care administration. She's a case manager, so I'm going to do a ride along with her and see what she does in her work. Then I just have to write up what I experienced, observing Hipaa, of course!

My Nut class ends this week, and the psych class has two more to go after this week.

I'm surviving this summer I dreaded so much!